I posted a short story concerning Giordano Bruno and have often mentioned this fascinating philosopher of the late Renaissance. I thought, today ,I would post considering my schedule, just Four quotes of his I found on the Web. I have read the books mentioned and I am familiar with the context of all the quotes :

"It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people."

"There is one simple Divinity found in all things, everything has Divinity latent within itself. For she enfolds and imparts herself even unto the smallest beings. Without her presence nothing would have being, because she is the essence of the existence of the first unto the last being."
~The Expulsion of the Triumphant Beast, 1582

"This entire globe, this star, not being subject to death, and dissolution and annihilation being impossible anywhere in Nature, from time to time renews itself by changing and altering all its parts. There is no absolute up or down, as Aristotle taught; no absolute position in space; but the position of a body is relative to that of other bodies. Everywhere there is incessant relative change in position throughout the universe, and the observer is always at the centre of things."
~ On Cause, Principle, and Unity

"In space there are countless constellations, suns and planets; we see only the suns because they give light; the planets remain invisible, for they are small and dark. There are also numberless earths circling around their suns, no worse and no less than this globe of ours. For no reasonable mind can assume that heavenly bodies that may be far more magnificent than ours would not bear upon them creatures similar or even superior to those upon our human earth. "
~On the Infinite Universe and Worlds

"Circles the sun and seeks whence he hath come;
And wandering lights make ever for their source;
The child of earth returns to earthly home;
From sea to sea again, the waters course;
Divine desire, wherever it may roam,
Soars ever upward, of its native force.
        'Tis thus the soul, born of my lady fair,
        Turns back to find that goddess past compare."
              - Gli Eroici Furori

The picture of the tree and swirly thing is from Christmas 2 years ago. I noticed it didn't transfer from its old home. The old house is a wonderful ghost picture from the web. I really suggest googling "ghost " someday. There are a lot of sights, discussion of not only legends and folklore, but, also, modern paranormal and many everyday experiences of the paranormal .  The swirly thing is considered a fast moving orb or a spirit tunnel among those who study the paranormal. If it was a ghost I have no idea who was paying us a call. More than likely a family member.

 Multiply is new to me and I am still learning how to make it do what I want it to do, so I beg patience. I brought over most of old articles from Yahoo 360 because I am just egotistical enough to like what I write and wish to preserve it. I am going to keep my old blog and convert it into a place to post recipes and needlework, even posting my own patterns up there if it lasts. I don't know if Yahoo is going to survive, though and I hate wasting my time and effort.
More Ghost Stories :
Nearly a ghost story, first : My husband and I were camping. I had begged to go. Leon had bought all the gear and prepared us for the trip. I was laying in my sleeping bag and couldn't sleep. I had been terrified walking in the dark to our camp site Friday night. I saw monsters and gigantic creatures, heard owls.. and, well - you know what a city girl can become when she is actually in the country for the first time -- I mean, really, really, in the country. .. no ghosts, just total hysterical fear and I wasn't about to tell Leon, either. About half way through a sleepless night I decided to try soul travel, hadn't done it in a while but what the heck anything would be better than the terror I felt. I concentrated (and there is a way to do it, trust me.) and started to rise from my body when I saw a form standing over me. It was a guardian I had seen several times before. "YOU KNOW THAT THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU !!!!!! Stay ! " his hand pressed down on my chest and I went back down to my uncomfortable and sleepless body.  "But... But... but, well.what right have you...?" I stammered. Bossy people even in eternity. Here is the freaky part of the story: my chest hurt the next day where his hand had pressed.

One of the most fantastic sighting of ghosts I ever had was on a trip down to St. Augustine Fl. in the summer of 1970. (I was 18/19) I was with my whole family and was pretty much trapped into whatever itinerary they wanted but  I did enjoy the fort in St. Augustine, Fl. - well, most of it.

I wasn't thinking of ghosts that moment but got a shock when I walked into one of the rooms. On the walls were men manacled and starving - their clothes hanging off their emaciated bodies, torn and even bloodied. I felt that they had been tortured. I think I saw 4 or 5 men. I was so stunned I could not but stare in horror. Was anyone else seeing this?   I was not in the formal tour so I just had walked into the room, alone. I didn't see them with my mortal eyes... but with my spiritual. I felt pity but knew I was seeing what had been a very long time ago. I didn't run. I just walked out of the room to begin breathing again. The formal tour was out there and the park ranger was explaining how prisoners had been walled up and left to die in that room. I knew that already so I walked up to the allure to see the sun and breath fresh air. I could have sworn I smelled the foul odors of men dying in their own wastes.
In Halloween 1979 we moved into our present house after moving to the Northwest in the year before. When we toured the house I didn't feel anything so I did not think it was haunted in any fashion. I was careful about that sort of thing because while ghosts can been the spice in the sauce they can also be damn annoying and even dangerous. The next spring I was laying in bed around 8 AM (always being a late raiser!) I saw in my mind the ghost of the woman we bought the house from walk through the front door... didn't hear any material world sounds - just saw her do it. I didn't get up to greet her. I had known she was dying and I realized she must have done so recently. I don't see ghosts, I perceive them and even 'hear' them most of the time.
"Hello Fay, you must have died of your illness. I'm sorry."
"I couldn't leave.." she said "Are you happy with the house.?"
"Oh, yes, Fay, very happy... we love it. Our first home. Thank you... Go to God, now and rest. You don't belong here. Don't worry about earth, the house is fine, you don't belong here any more."
 She just stood in the door way and nodded, turned and walked out the front door as if she was still in material body.
Poor lady! worried about the house? I didn't hear this through my ears but in my mind. The front door was not open, by the way. I checked. I saw her in February, later I saw her son. She had died in December of brain cancer. I wanted to tell him but I knew he was a Protestant Christian and would be upset so I didn't. (Chicken!) I would have been comforted if someone said my mom was doing well in eternity... but a heavy-duty protestant? Wasn't so sure it would be belief, fear or hope he would feel.
Without the house being haunted most of my experiences back in the 1980's were outside of the home - until something arose out of the yard that I will talk about in a moment.  There is a corner in Seattle - I would pass it going to the main library for research on my novels and later on my foray into higher education. Its directly across the street from the main library on 4th & Madison (I think the new one is further north?) Well, every time I walked past that corner I would see and hear things from the 1800's. Some of them scandalous, others very violent and at least one murder. Pike Street market is also haunted. Noticed it immediately. I would call it the first basement floor. There used to be a bead store there. I am not sure quite who, my mother said she saw a woman. I have read it is the daughter of  the Indian chief Seattle is named for. We felt several spirits in the floors beneath the main market.
There was a haunting here, in the house, later in that decade. I think I caused it by giving a very ancient spirit, my energy. I was experimenting during that time with all kinds of spirituality & psychic disciplines : meditation, Tarot, candle watching, a little witchcraft, reading a tremendous amount of ancient and modern occult literature, I even studied other religions, looking for a Spiritual Path... something deep in the earth awoke and invaded the house. It was an evil Indian shaman whose body is partly buried in this very mundane yard of mine. I was honestly scared stiff. It is one thing to read about evil - another thing to encounter it. And totally terrifying to have to defend yourself.  I still don't like to talk about it because, well, I blamed myself... if I hadn't been dabbling in mystical or occult things he would not have gained as much power as he had. I was also researching the Christian Path, by the way and that irritated him more than anything else I was doing. I think He attacked me for that reason, alone. Some of the haunting were very mundane things ... His face in the bathroom window ... or in the wash room window that looks in the same direction - His hand would appear also and try to grasp mine when I was closing windows. He attacked me in my bedroom one night. I won't tell you how but I have always believed he meant me real spiritual harm, perhaps, even physical harm. It was like something out a really bad movie. I was way over my spiritual head and knew it. I asked for help and used everything I knew, everything my mom had told me,even asked a priest to come over for prayers and began to pray to Christ very sincerely for one of the first times in my adult life. There is an old saying about there being no atheists in fox holes, goes double when the battle field is a spiritual one.  My husband admitted to me that he was seeing the same things I was. Even a neighborhood friend saw him sitting under my cherry tree on a bear skin rug.  How do you lay a ghost ? - not a friend or a family member - but something nasty? I asked Christ for help and every time I did, He came through for me.
 ( Believe or not, I am only reporting to you my own experiences.Christ is a choice. )
  Slowly, the haunting faded. Every so often I feel something but its a shadow of a shadow... easily mistaken for a memory of a fear I once had. Sometimes knowledge comes to us easily. Sometimes, it comes the hard way. That haunting was definitely knowledge coming the hard way to your's truly! 
 I even grew herbs that were supposed chase evil spirits away. Most of all I learned how to keep my energy to myself - to block its use by others - building psychic walls is not easy but very necessary. I learned a mighty spiritual law - one of the major ones. Ghosts don't have a lot of power in and of themselves. They must feed off the living or from the environment. That is why there are so many reports of cold spots in haunted houses and drained batteries from paranormal investigators. Why there are so many reports of lights flickering, electrical appliances turning off and on, even telephone calls from the dead. I have even heard of several ghostly events on computers, though these are still very rare.

  Those who don't believe (atheists, materialists) , those who are ignorant of spiritual matters (undecided, neutral souls who mean no harm but have not dedicated themselves one way or other.This includes the curious seeker.) , the innocent young (babies & children) those who take drugs of all kinds including alcohol and therefore are naturally opened to all kinds of influences (they aren't strong enough to face life how can they be expected to face multiple realities? and drugs opens the unconscious up like a dead clam.)  can all be easy targets to the stray spirit or the nasty ghost.
I could write about all the cat ghost visits (they tend to be very gentle and only short visits !) but it would make this article way too long.  And, Yes, it does happen! As recently as this week.
ONE more experience before I end this... one day, my husband, Leon asked me to go fetch something from the room I am writing from this morning. Our attic is nothing more than a crawl space - its opening is just outside this room in the hall ceiling. As I was walking past the attic opening (which was opened because it was summer!) I saw a gargoyle - yes, a gargoyle. No hair, looking ugly as sin, leathery body, large claws bending down looking at me curiously. Well,  a gargoyle. Scared, startled by such the sudden intrusion of the unexpected,  I said a quick prayer "Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!" quietly and told the beastie he had no welcome in our house... and fetched the object I was seeking... I didn't want Leon to know what I saw ... never sure if he could see it, too - He did and commented about the Gargoyle in our attic. I said yes, but I told it to go and it did. I saw in my mind that it flew away through the walls out towards the south. Odd, very odd. I really wonder sometimes how the universe works ... is that a spirit, my imagination or is it the denizen of some alternative dimension - but it couldn't be my imagination because my husband saw it, too -
SO WHAT WAS IT? Now that doesn't fit quite into my world view... !

It is very difficult to separate what I have learned through study and reading and what my mother taught me during our conversations, sometimes. She never mentioned 'soul travel' - what is now know as OBE - out of body experience - though, at the time she was teaching me I had my first experiences in it and no, I don't know quite how to bring them on, they seem to happen when I am very tired, in pain and completely sleepless... also, extreme hunger seems have something to do with them but I am not sure what. Could Rosa have known about OBE - yes, I would guess she might have, there are traditions about witches flying, propagated by the church during the late Middle Ages... I would suggest what they were talking about was soul travel. I have only done it maybe 4 times in my entire life.
Though meditation was not spoken of in any clear fashion I think they did it as a form of prayer. Meditation was very discouraged in the church and it wasn't popular in the West until late in the last century. My mother did teach me to surround myself with light and to ask Christ to protect me at all times. I fell back on this training in my own spiritual life and found that it was very wise advice.
A lot of my mom's fear of witchcraft and of practicing witchcraft has rubbed off on me. It is very difficult to overcome such lessons of fear taught so very young - but I would suggest that witchcraft done with a pure heart and pure intent is no worse than any other tool or technology we use. I have always seen these mentally based tools - witchcraft,real magic, soul travel, magical herbalism, meditation, curses and removal of curses, etc as tools - a way to accomplish certain things and I approach them with the same curiosity and desire for understanding and learning that I approach modern science and this computer (for instance!) I don't see a great divide between the seen and unseen worlds - notice, please that I always call them "realms" - an old world that suggest kingdoms that stand side-by-side and have different worlds - and different rulers or kings. I see the universe - the cosmos - the entirety of all there is - as a place to learn and explore. I do not claim to know a 1/15 of what can be known - but I am willing to learn. I would suggest that all we call science is the study of the laws & nature of THIS universe. I would suggest that there other universes/dimensions/ states of being that exist simultaneous and nearly on the same plane as this one. I would also suggest that ghosts, alien visitations, crop circles, gods & goddesses, spirits, souls, soul travel, reports of big foot, massive birds, Loch Ness monster, dream worlds - and the rest we call secret, occult, supernatural, paranormal, etc... is NOT any of these things - instead, all these things or subjects are manifestations of these other dimensions that break either break through to our reality - or its us having a sensitivity to their existence. I think Vibration of our atoms... has a lot to do with it: the higher the vibration the more 'spiritual' a person is ... the lower, the more asleep/unaware/materialist a person is and it is the Kundalini fire which is the key to this part of the mystery of consciousness. Humans actually have to power within their grasp to be multidimensional in their nature and to step out of their bodies any time they want to, also our bodies are like cars or any other vehicle - take care of it, maintain it but it isn't ALL you are. There are not 5 senses : there are at least 10 - 5 for the body, 5 for the soul.
Personal Ghost Stories :
I was always capable of seeing spirits and ghosts. It was considered a normal gift in my family for the women. My earliest experience had to do with what could be called a vision. I saw Mary and Jesus walking up our stairs towards me when I was 7 or 8. I think they spoke to me but not in words of sound.
It is a very strange memory but I do not doubt it. When I was a teenager I worked as a sacristan. One day I was hanging the tabernacle veil back up. I looked around and saw a priest sitting in the first pew. Odd, I thought. I didn't recognize him. I felt embarrassed because no one knew I had to crawl on top of the altar to put the veil up ( a big no-no)... I nodded and then finished hooking the curtain rod up - turned back around and the priest was GONE. It was only a second - no sound, no foot steps, no doors opening and closing - just gone. There were stories of a monsignor haunting the church I knew well, but that was only time I saw him. That church was always a little creepy. The basement was especially so, though, I never saw anything down there. There was a passage way between the main buildings, not a crawl way but an actual paved, lit, Tunnel. It was deep and wide enough that it was considered a fall-out shelter, in case of Nuclear Attack . One of the main entrances was in the school, through wide double doors. As the custodian's daughter I had a chance to see a lot of the hidden areas of both church complex. I do not think it was haunted, though.

I always thought the church was just so very empty when I worked. It was nearly a hundred years old and beautiful. ( for anyone who would wish to know, Holy Redeemer church, Rochester NY. I understand it has closed down and may have been sold. )
The entire church grounds and even the house we lived in was known to be haunted - of these ghosts I actually saw, some I did not. Our house was particularly bad. Footsteps up and down stairs, walking back and forth above our heads in the middle of the night. It was easy to blame it on our fellow renters... my dad was the church custodian and we lived in the back apartment, the organist lived above and in front of us. The priest's maid & cook lived in the apartment directly under the organist and in the front of the house. It must have all been a one family house and the walls were often in odd places - ceiling lights were off center. The house was built in the early 2oth century maybe by 1910 and I do not know when it was made into apartments.
NOTE : I see no reason not to mention this house's address at this late date. 251 Alphonse Street, Rochester NY. I do not know if anyone still lives there or even, if its still standing.
The stairs for the organist's apartment shared a wall with our living room... he would leave with much noise and hubbub... a short time later someone else would leave and make a lot of noise - it was impossible to walk down those stairs quietly. We would hear his door slam but there was no one on his porch. NO one - I looked many times because some of the noises just didn't make any sense. There was a large, very roomy attic above our apartment that was shared with the organist. It was haunted by a man - a very upset and unfriendly ghost - nearly hostile, at times. He made a lot of weird sounds - and walked back and forth at night mostly, my mother, for some reason I never could understand refused to use the word ghost - in fact, was in denial that the house was haunted, though she was as sensitive as I was to such things. She claimed that John, the organist was walking on our side of attic and looking through our things. I do not know his story but I saw him once as a pillar of smoky gray. I had gone up the stairs when my mother asked me to fetch something... I wasn't feeling well and was apprehensive about going up there when it was dark. I saw him very vividly and instead of controlling my instinctual fears they overwhelmed me and I nearly fell back down the stairs as I ran down them. I slammed the door and locked it. My mom asked me if I had gotten the things she asked for and I said no, I didn't but I was afraid to say that I had seen the ghost because I knew she refused to accept the haunting. My impression of him was that he had committed suicide in the attic. I think it was one of the few times in my life when I could not control my fears... I would only say that I was coming down with a cold and was rather weak. I emphasize: the noises, foot steps and weird sounds were constant, this was just one of the major sightings of the ghost !

There also was a very large basement - it was shared between us and the maid/cook. Her part was divided from ours with a cloth curtain. We had a second kitchen down there and would there in the summer, sometimes. My father had a work bench and tools down there and there was some old furniture. The place always 'spooked' me... I had to work down there a lot, our washing machines were there for a long time and I actually liked the place because the apartment was so small ... the attic and basement were blessings - or could have been. Both could have been seen as real helps for us but no one really liked, either. It was also haunted but it wasn't just one ghost. Let me explain, I would find out in the yard pieces of engraved marble and asked my father about them - he said they were tomb stones and even some of our walk way was made with them. As I mentioned Holy Redeemer was nearing its centennial, originally it had a cemetery as many of the oldest churches, do - this was moved out to Holy Sepulchre cemetery when the city ruled the bodies must be moved.
What I suspected and I think is very creditable : they missed some of the bodies. I would see faces in the windows in the basement. I think they did not like sharing their space with us. I would feel watched a great deal of the time. It got so bad and so unnerved me I decided to try a little ceremony. I brought a cross down and walked around with it asking the ghosts to leave us alone so we could do our work. As I said we cooked some down there and washed clothes until the late 60's. I think the ghosts were getting on mom's nerves, also, though she never admitted to me or mentioned them to me, directly. For some reason she gave up some of precious space upstairs and put the new washer and dryer up in the kitchen for while. I would iron up there instead of in the cool basement. I only know about the strange pieces of marble and the story my father told me about the old graves. I don't know if for sure if his story was correct, completely, but it was a rational reason for the faces in the windows of the basement. (Often they appeared as eyes.) I would feel watched , very often.
My goodness... found their website on line. Here is the history of Holy Sepulchre cemetery's history... it says a Bishop .. my dad said it was the city. Here is the history and mention of the transfer of the bodies to the cemetery!
My Bedroom :
It was my kind of luck that my bedroom was haunted. It was very small room for a growing teenager with a large book collection who needed a desk to do homework and a place to keep her clothes. The corner behind the door was the most active, though not always. Someone stood in that corner ... could never quite find out who. Never heard anything and I always felt his presence. (and yes, I thought of it as a male. ) I tried desperately to ignore him as much as possible. I moved my bed around so he was immediately behind me - a very big mistake. I woke up one morning with a large lump on the back of my head that I could not explain - my mom said she heard the kitchen furnitures being broken and slammed that night - but saw nothing in the morning. For some reason, she would rather blame the living and believed that my father had a gotten angry about something... I mentioned that I had not awoken during the night and heard nothing. I think it must have been the first time I said the "G...." word to her face ! My father was not an easy man to live with but he was no monster. He never attacked anyone physically, that I knew about and he never slammed furniture about at 2 in the morning either. I quickly and without explanation moved my bed back to its old position. The ghost sensed is better than the ghost who does things literally behind your back! I also put my stereo in that corner. It would turn on by itself and I moved it. I finally settled my set of drawers in the infamous corner (I figured he just as well might stand in the middle of my pantie drawer. He was certainly annoying me enough!) . Unless he took up residence in the mirror I had nothing to fear, further from him. I suspect some of the things going on may have poltergeist activity caused by yours truly - a young girl reaching puberty and beyond - especially one that had some spiritual gifts also blooming and an unhappy family life can be admitting a lot of stray energy ... well, it wouldn't be so surprising, would it? I think it may have been me that was feeding the ghosts, some with my own psychic energy. This is something to think about if you live in a haunted house - are you doing anything to make them stronger?
Continued tomorrow.

If you survive the arousal of the Kundalini and 55 years of life you are bound to learn something sooner or later and there seems two or three steps to such growth of knowledge and understanding. While you are actually having experiences you don't consciously worry about all the implications, though, down deep your mind is always working to make sense of what is going on. It takes years, though to assimilate all your experiences and even more years to come to some conclusions about what it may all mean.

For example : I panicked the first time I realized my vision implied a Christian universe, because I had a lot of bitterness and dislike for that religion and also blamed Christ for what a lot of his adherents had done to me both in this life and in my past lives. (A very grave error!) Jesus Christ and the Churches are two very different - things- most of the time. Churches are human institutions run by faulty human beings, therefore always flawed. Christ is the manifestation of God's love for mankind and all of creation, he is both spirit and person of Trinity of Love. A lot of the last 24 years has been the struggle to learn this. I haven't got the 'forgive Christians and Churches for their meanness' thing down quite yet, but I am working on it, what I find is that, after many years I realize they took from me nothing of value and that I am strong enough now to stand on my own, and also, I see them for the poor troubled fellow human beings they really are, instead of the immensely strong masters and Lords they seemed to be. I did forgive God for 'what he did' because, well, He didn't do it - it wasn't His will, was it? Cruelty is never HIS will - it is solely a human sin.

The Past can not change; only our understanding of its meaning can change. Forgiveness comes when we see our true selves and see our enemies as they truly are.


What broke is my trust of others - my fellow human beings and it is nearly impossible to put back together. I doubt I will ever belong to any community ever again. (in any real sense of the word.)
I can forgive and I struggle to forgive, but I cannot, yet, forget. That will take some time.


Healing takes time but it does happen. Patience is a very hard lesson but it will ease your suffering if you learn it !


It doesn't help that I have dared to have the very experiences that make me either a mystic or a heretic or a mad-woman - or maybe, as I like to think when I run afoul of some poor fellow Christian, all three. God never promised a rose garden, dear people, He just promised us that we would NOT walk the world entirely alone, HE would be with us, always, even to the end of the world. Trust that it will all make sense in the end!

We are not alone on our long journey through lives to that end we can not see.

God's spirit of Love is always with us. He loves us and Knows when we are attempting a very hard thing, think of a rose, as it blooms, do you think its efforts are without pain?


God is LOVE, there is no darkness in Him/Her. He/She is the down-flowing of creative love through all the universes and planets. He is truly our Father and Our mother. He can no more hate us than a cat can be a dog - it is not in His/Her nature!

Trust God's love. Trust Christ's presence. Growth happens, maturity grows. There are holy souls that no longer come to earth and the Angels, those spirits who were never human yet serve the light. Call on these friends when you need them. You are not abandoned. You are loved.

We will never know the full nature of God or the universe. We are meant to explore and ask questions,though. It is not a sin to be curious about how it all works, it is a virtue ! We seem to see but dimly the Whole while we are in the Flesh, but no doubt it all makes sense & is a WHOLE thing - one fabric.


One of the things that really frustrates me about the nature of human life/mind/understanding is that Science-philosophy-Spirituality are in a war of ideas that never seems to end. Science wants to be master of men's minds but can not rule the heart, etc... I believe, like the Renaissance philosophers, that we see the eye of God (his basic nature, his being) IN nature - that nature is another book that reveals the nature of God and there is no divide between the great disciplines of the mind, heart and soul ! I foresee a day when the Kundalini will be understood in the scientific sense of the word, when even the soul might be proved in some manner. I would suggest that consciousness is different than mind and that is where the work needs to be done. We may never understand the true nature of the "super" natural but we get far closer (to understanding) than we are today. Someday someone will prove that consciousness as energy can stay coherent - together - when it is outside of the body, hence, ghosts and souls.

The soul is immortal and never dies, it is never destroyed by anything humans or the mortal realms do. (to it.)
True death does not, therefore, exist, only death of the Flesh, exists. Ego is transitory and temporary. I have seen many of my past lives, some in detail, some as mere scenes. I think I have about 144 or so past lives. I see them as people standing in concentric circles, circling or even dancing about the hub which is my soul. The furthest back was just a hint of hunter in a very primitive setting telling a story by a campfire as the women cleaned the deer. The last 16 of them, since Christ's life, have been spent here in the West working to bring God's kingdom to earth. I must be a very stubborn soul to take so long to evolve ! But, seriously, for me reincarnation is just a FACT, it is how the universe works, get over it and come to terms with it. I am surprised how much I am like my past egos and how much they were like me - same faults and failures, same virtues, same sins, same goodness. It must take many lives to change even little things, entirely, 'to tie off the pattern in the weave so it does not repeat itself, once again.' To me the whole point of life is to do well at it. Strive to leave life knowing more and being better than you were when you entered it. Live a real life, a sincere life, don't sleep walk (don't take drugs, that kind of thing!) and don't forget, that, that precious ego that you build with each day you live is just a temporary vessel to carry your soul.

Creation and Creativity is when we are closest to God.

Find things to create. A child, a book, a beautifully run house, a sweater, a dress, a business, a painting, a pot. Don't go through life and leave nothing behind when you die. Creativity of beauty, even if it a good meal at the end of the day brings you closer the Divine ONE who created all things in his mind and heart of Love.

Love is not an easy or soft thing. It demands giving of ourselves. It demands doing what is hard to do, not what is easy. It demands risk and willingness to suffer pain and loss. If you love as Christ teaches you will willingly suffer for what you love and believe in most. It is self sacrificial Love.

This, I believe is why so many people find so much satisfaction in hating both Christians and Christ. Jesus Christ did not teach soft human love - he taught a message of a love that is perfected, divine, in its intent. So much of modern culture, today, is the soft love of ease, the liberal love of merciful ease. " Give the poor money so they will leave me alone and so my conscience is eased!" This is not God's love. God's love pushes us to get off our soft behinds and work, strive & study. It demands we become MORE than we are. It sees our full potential and will give us some fine pushes to become what we CAN BE. That is real love. It isn't always pretty and it often seems harsh until we get past the barriers of internal growth and see with wonder, what we are becoming !

God's love pushes us to do those things that are not easy. God's love can cause the Beloved to suffer for a greater good, to even die for a greater good, this is not cruelty but a sign of trust and love. We can be knights in the Army of Light who willingly go into battle for the good of our fellow creatures. We can serve the Light as fully mature men and women.

This is enough for now. It is getting late and I really need to do some housework. It isn't nearly the end. Remember this, though - I give these observations as a gift. You don't have to conform or feel that I am criticizing you. If you hear criticism - it is internal! Instead of feeling pressured, feel, instead, that I am an older sister talking to you about the real world and what I have learned... put these words in your heart and think about them from time to time. They are meant to be seeds, nothing more! (And, yes, they are my second steps!)

I think it should be said and emphasized that each person’s spiritual life, i.e. the mystical path of each person; their biography, attributes, well, everything about them, is individual and unique. Your life, your gifts, your intellect, and therefore, your mystical life, will follow a different path from both my life and mystical life. This should be apparent but it needs to be said. The way I understand the East is that once you have awakened you choose a teacher or a teacher chooses you and you do your best to imitate the Master. (this was portrayed very nicely in ‘Star Wars’. )

The only Master we have, as Christians, though, is Jesus Christ. He is a spiritual man who comes to each person separately when the time is correct and communicates through dreams, intuitions, a few words(heard with the heart.) and visions. He alone can truly give the person what is needed for them to progress on their spiritual Path. When I first experienced His presence I was totally shocked how real he really seemed. As they said, he is no ghost. He is not material in the way we are but neither is he a formless ghost or spirit.

You cannot use me as a road map, Master, or template. I am not any of those things. I am only a fellow Grail Knight or seeker, though I may be more experienced, more mature than another, simply because my awaking was many years ago. I can tell you what I did, what I studied, why my inner urge to seek Truth, God, spiritual growth and emotional maturity grew so strong that I began to awaken spiritually in a very natural way (without a lot of effort), why I could never accept anything but the TRUTH etc. – but that does not mean if you do exactly the same things I did, felt or said! You will NOT be me. (And, trust me, you don’t want to be me!) I think if there is one thing that truly separates Western mysticism from Eastern, beyond the interior-exterior religious dichotomy, it is that Western mystics work their hardest to become true individuals; this process even has a name, individualization - it is a term from modern psychology but it also applies to the processes of mysticism.

At the very beginning, the mystical path is through your own psychology and you may find that you need a therapist to help you through that phase of the process.

Also, the metaphors in the East are often somewhat-to-totally different. Buddhists speak of become a drop of milk in the pool of milk that is all consciousness and a complete loss of self hood in the universal consciousness. Buddhism does not concentrate on God hardly at all, while Hinduism and Yoga concentrates on gods and goddesses and spiritual union with, I think, Shiva (my, how ignorant I am!) ... but, as Christian Gnostics, We speak of union through Jesus Christ with God and falling in Love with God, with a final step – union - i.e. spiritual marriage. For every Christian mystic Christ is the bridegroom of the soul and we do not lose our identity as much we gain an enhanced identity in Christ. Our relationship becomes a true marriage; two opposites that become one never to parted again and through Him we are also One with God. It is one of the reasons that marriage is such an important human institution; it points to the supreme mystical experience a human can have while still in the flesh.

While the East speaks of ending the wheel of rebirths, Gnostics speak of living endless lives of intense love & service, retiring only when all of human history is over – or, as Christ said, he offers more life, more abundantly.

There are several myths, images and metaphors that have enhanced my spiritual life:

1. The New Testament is the story of Christ's life. Reading it carefully it is possible to see in its pages our own Path, struggles, defeats and victories. We each must follow Christ to the cross. As Christ said, it is enough for the student to become like the Teacher.

2. The search for the Holy Grail and spiritual Knighthood. The Grail is that which we search for, the nexus between God and us and it is the place where spirit meets flesh = is Jesus Christ =is the Cup that was the first communion between God and man = is the heart of the mystic when Christ becomes the Lord of the Heart Chakra.

3.Another is the Image of the Rose – (it has the same meaning as the Lotus in the East.) The rose has its feet in the clay of the earth, is mortal but it opens its heart, mind and soul to the warmth of the sun or SON and blooms because of its/His heat/light! Also: we are a rose on his rosebush ‘I am the vine, you are the branches.' This refers back the 'Song of Songs' in the Bible : "I am the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valleys." The 'Song of Songs' is a set of poems, very ancient, and refers to our relationship with the Divine as well as the love in a human marriage.

4. This metaphor comes from a vision I had of the meaning of my own spiritual awaking. I saw myself climbing a spiral stair case that looked like DNA – I walked up it and repeated time after time were similar experiences in the shape of colors, the spiral stair case lead me to a tall tree, branch to branch I jumped, in the tree were lights 7 in number (after the seven main charkas) and, then, reaching the highest branches of the tree, I could go no further. I was distressed until a hand reached down from a cloud and pulled me up beyond the tree. The hand was the hand of Jesus Christ. I interpret this vision to mean first, physical evolution, then, the psycho-spiritual-consciousness evolution of progressing through the Chakras via the Kundalini, and, then, finally, union with Him through love.

4. "Mysticism" by Evelyn Underhill is a good history and description of traditional Christian mysticism. 'Mysticism' the book is free here. For those of us who have divorced ourselves from the organized churches, it has it's drawbacks, but it is still quite worth studying.

5. The Tarot is a good guide for the Christian gnostic if it first understood that the Tarot is religion neutral. It is the user who puts meaning into the Cards. They are a tool with symbols so general and universal that they can be used in many ways and by people of many traditions. Also, please, always do a cleansing and dedication when you use the cards so no evil or mischievous spirits/entities can bother you! Study and read several books as you learn the meaning of the cards. I used it for quite awhile and still return to it when I need to think about the Path. I suggest a deck that is both traditional and positive. The cards that mean the most to me are: the Ace of Cups (the holy Grail), The Hanged Man ( both Christ and the mystic) Resurrection, Death(transformation) and the World (Unity) If you ever want to amuse yourself look through the cards and see how many of the images refer you back to 'Star Wars' or 'Lord of the Rings' ( thus, the meaning of archetype!)Once you know the Tarot you will recognize the archetypes in many places, and, yes, even in popular culture.

Oh : here is a little test : What does "the Fool" card mean? What am I trying to say? Can you, with your imagination, study the card and understand its implications ? If you need some help watch the first half hour-1 hour of Star Wars !

Prana and the Kundalini fire exist. Prana is the life force that flows through all and is shared by all living things – the entire body is vitalized by it and it passes through the body the way acupuncturists describe. Kundalini is the unifying fire that shoots up the backbone and unifies all the centers or Chakras into a whole and makes union with the divine, possible.

Eastern cultures have a clear understanding of the mechanisms of soul/spirit, life-force and evolution - nothing needed to be hidden by myth and language, card and book because they never had the tendency to persecute mystics and some of their greatest thinkers and leaders, including Lord Buddha, were mystics who were quite honest about their experiences. Taoist philosophy, also, is quite frank and Indian mysticism; the Yoga of Wisdom (Raja Yoga) and the Kundalini Yoga are nothing if not road maps to enlightenment. So, in the East, there is a long history of mystics being totally open about their experiences and the religions allowing, even encouraging, mystical paths and the people who walk them.

But it isn't that way here in the West. There are many reasons for this. Part of it is that we are mightily influenced by the religious attitudes of the Middle East - both before and after Jesus Christ.

The Jews (and this is not meant to insult them! they are one of the few cultures that have a mystical tradition that is helpful and I respect the Jewish people, greatly!) had a long tradition of persecuting people who claimed to have experiences of the Divine - both prophet and mystic didn't always fare well in their culture, though, after death, they were usually respected. Read the lives of Christian mystics and saints and you see the same trends.

The Ancient Greeks, Romans and Egyptians had a tendency to make any personal religious expression, esoteric, i.e. secret and hidden. They had public worship, in the service of the king or state, with various gods, priesthood and temples - and, then, in private, for the few, they had mystical expression through what is now called the mystery religions. There is some hint that the native, northern Europeans may have had some mystical aspects to their religions but those did not survive the Middle Ages. We have only shades and ghosts of the European pre-Christian religions, now.

Just the word "mystical" - an English word that describes the highest spiritual experience should give you a hint exactly how much a MYSTERY the experience of the Divine ONE has always been here in the West. Some claim this is a Christian phenomena but I would mention that Socrates, the great mystic philosopher of Greece, was executed, in part, because he did not seem religious enough for the exoteric religious of his day. The Romans persecuted the Druid leaders because they seemed to practice an almost magical and mystical hold on that culture

And, then, Christ came to Earth - he was a Jew - and a mystic - and a prophet - and something more ... but he, too, fell afoul of the outward expressions of religion & the priesthood.

The Romans were a practical, worldly people and were never fond of mystics or mysticism. They persecuted Gnostic, both Christian and Pagan and enforced their state religion throughout their history. They were suspicious of what is done in private by small groups of people and their fears often became paranoid persecution. They considered religion the glue of their society and used it as such. The greatest wrong they did was adopting Christianity as their state religion and persecuting those who beliefs deviated from the state sponsored norms. Until that time, there was enough room in the religion for the mystic and the gnostic and the religion enjoyed great diversity.

Special note: I am no fan of Islam. It mistreats women (encouraging beatings, executions, honor killings and rapes), dogs, children and men and not always in that order. It insists on exterior expressions of religion and a profound hardness of heart, even cruelty, in the name of God, it doesn't even speak about loving your neighbor, God and everyone else, as you love yourself. It has more rules than medieval Christianity and concentrates on doing right things instead of being right inside. It is a harsh religion in every sense of the word. And most of all, It does not treat mystics very well, often persecuting them for their statements of unity with the Divine. Many Sufi mystics have suffered terribly.

I put the blame for a lot of the West's problems on our tradition of priesthood and a religion that is meant to unite the entire society. Mystics are lone wolves of West, the grail knights that enter the forest, alone and mystical experience is the ultimate rebellion against our communal religions. Mystics stray from the safe road of communal action and theology that organized religions build for their adherents. There is an inbuilt tragedy at the center of every Western mystic's life. It can't be helped. To explore the nature of the God - to love Him and give yourself to Him you must reject what ever loyalties held you in the past. Some times the loyalties are handed back to you, but often the surrender was very real.

The dichotomy between exterior forms of religion and interior forms of religious expression has existed for a very long time, indeed, I suspect I may be missing some of the subtleties in Eastern religions simply because I do not live in those cultures. I only know what I read in books and what I read, I like very much. It is hard to believe they do not suffer from dichotomy, though, simply because it is so profound, here in the West!

And, just to shock you terribly, this hasn't been all bad for the West - If you look at our culture, its vitality, which some call immaturity, willingness to experiment, its love of exploration of all kinds and the rise of technology in modern times, something becomes obvious --- if we tended to have open mystical religions like the East I don't think philosophy and its chief beloved daughter, science, would have dominated our thinking the way they have since 1600. Both were born centuries before, in Ancient Greece, but they never caught on in the near or far East. They were still- born in the Far East and they perished in Islam in the Middle Ages. I think there are good reasons that it was the West that reached the moon first!

So what is the mystical path here in the West? Sometimes it is very hard to pin down... like I said, hidden, very mysterious to the point that most people concentrate on only the exoteric aspects of religion and never consider the personal search for God as important, or, even, necessary. Again, let's first say something about the East - in the East, as I understand it, if a person has a spiritual awaking, that is, they have the arousal of the Kundalini, they search for a teacher and leave normal life behind them - they meditate for decades and practice spiritual disciplines such as abstaining from meat and fasting. Here in the West, for a long time, things were not that different. Mystics in the Middle Ages went to live in monastery or Nunnery and practiced spiritual disciplines, there, for a lifetime. Sometimes they were praised for their holiness and made saints, others were persecuted and still others, executed, for their interpretation of their experiences into a working theology.
But, slowly, here, in the West a new kind of mysticism is rising - the monks and nuns of the past stayed within the confines of their religion and did their best to stay within the walls of their communities. I would suggest reading the biographies of Theresa of Avila and John of the Cross for understanding. Many of them had a difficult time doing so and many were persecuted. There are some who explore the ancient religions and wish to return to the earlier eras of religion thought.

Witchcraft and Druid religions are now growing here and in some parts of Europe but I am not going to speak of their spirituality because I know little of it and have chosen another. There are also those who speak of the 'New Age', but, again, I know only a little about their world view & spirituality.

I am a Christian and Love Him very much. I am not a member of a church. My world view, religion and philosophy tends towards eclecticism and open-ended curiosity. I distrust organizations and priesthoods, who, by their very nature demand a loyalty I can not to them. I am a grown woman, even a matron and I do not fear God or man. My soul is immortal. The safe road was not for me.

My spiritual awaking - the arousal of the Kundalini - began in the late 1970's. It happened in private and though I searched for teachers, my search was in vain. I did have help through the rough times but it was not a Master who had gone through the same things I had, it was a fellow Christian who just cared as a friend cares even when she found me very strange, and, sometimes, scary.
My conversion experience happened April 22, 1983, in the late evening as I sat before my wood stove. My spiritual/mystical path is as the lone wolf or the Grail knight seeking the Holy Grail. I entered the forest alone. I do not expect help from a community. I have chosen exile and isolation because I could not give up my autonomy to anyone but God.

I do not hide my conservative philosophy nor my Gnostic beliefs and neither do I hide that I live a frugal life. Oddly, being frugal (my husband says cheap ) happens to be, also, often environmentally wise. I thought I would share some my thoughts on how to live in harmony with the environment and in the 21st century at the same time. I do not have the liberal fascination with the past - the past was a hard, painful place to live. I like technology.

Our house is only 1000 sq. feet. It is a small house. We have gas heat and burn wood only when we must, 1 toilet. The first step in both frugality and environmentalism is to have a smaller foot print on the earth, the first step is not to own a large house that demands more energy to heat, more water, more of everything.

We do not use chemicals on our lawn - the weeds grow happily, which makes the birds happy. I mow during the spring but I allow the lawn to die in the dry summer. It saves the effort of mowing and the lawn mower pollutes. I do water my herbs, flowers and roses. I use no chemicals on my herbs and flowers but I do use some on my roses. Recycle yard waste and broken limbs. Look in the telephone book or here on the web for local recyclers, or, if you are lucky, the same people who pick up your garbage will also pick up yard waste. Do not burn yard waste; it may be illegal and it pollutes the air.

I work at home. This saves an immense amount of money. I do not spend money on my hair, clothes or on a second car. My clothes are either handmade or bought at Walmart and sometimes, T.J. Maxx. - My 'style' is American typical ! I never buy fabrics or yarns that can not be washed. Dry cleaning is not only bad for the environment, it is an expense that is mostly unnecessary.

We have only one vehicle which my husband drives, a 250 Ford truck. Owning such a truck enables us to save money shopping at Costco, buying large amounts of certain supplies. (which is also good for the environment. ) I do not drive. (never quite got the hang of driving, I like day dreaming too much.) He uses it to go to work. We use it for chores, shopping far from home and for one pleasure trip a week, on Saturday morning, usually to go out to lunch. I usally only see the inside of the truck ONCE a Week ! We run all our errands at once, consolidating all of them, and then park the truck.

We do not go on vacations. Again, this is to save money but it is also environmentally wise. We go out to lunch, make meals at home, 'hang around' and enjoy each other's company. Our vacations rarely cost more than 300 dollars. I see no reason for vacations and I love being home with my husband and cats. I do my crafts and enjoy life.

We have been using the compact fluorescent light bulbs for many years, since they first came out ! They are less expensive to use and last a very long time. I just threw out our first generation of bulbs 2 years ago. Try them, you may find you like them better than the traditional ones. Try the Ott light if you do crafts and needlework, they are wonderful. The L.E.D. bulbs are still very expensive and not practical because of cost, quite yet. I suggest keeping an eye on their price and trying them when you find them on sale. We already are using them for our Christmas decorations but I am not quite fond of their cool colors and dull luminosity. I love a tree bathed in the warmth of the mini lights of the past. I may experiment with mixing the two kinds in the future. They are very cheap to use (after the original cost) and they will improve as all technology does, this also saves energy.

Christmas note: do not use colored flocking. Natural trees are the best, Recycle them with the season is over. Recycle your wreathe, also. You may want to make your decorations, so many are badly made imports that are made in China. I have used recyclable gift wrapping paper over the years but to be honest, I like the glossy kind that can not be recycled.

Wash your clothes and dry clothes in the late evening and the very early day. This prevents the need to build more power plants. Peek time for energy is in the mid morning and early evening when people are cooking dinner.

Home cooking is not only tastier, it is less expensive and is, also, better for the environment , and better for the family. Prepared foods fill our land fills with waste plastics. I personally LOVE cooking and it is a great hobby. Eat LESS meat and less take out.

We turn the temperature of the house down during the day and in the late evening - usually to 60 degrees.

We walk everyday, at least a half hour - its for our health and I joke that our doctor gave us the choice to walk or die, so we chose walking but it is also a very environmentally friendly thing to do. We walk to the local stores, the library and some of the local restaurants. We buy fresh vegetables and meat every day at the local grocery stores. Anything that we can carry and is sold near by we usually make a walking chore.

My husband owns a motorcycle - a Harley. He uses it to go to work in the summertime. It saves money and GAS to do so.

A lot of Crafts also save money and are environmentally friendly. Recycle everything you can, Not only the usual paper, cans and glass recycling. Save glass containers and use them for candles and (use the right kind of wax!) storing kitchen, craft and sewing supplies. Send clothes you don't use to Good Will or the Salvation Army. Find out if your local authorities offer recycling depots for large appliances and wood. Look in the telephone book or on line to recycle computer hardware. Give books to the library when they are no longer wanted, they either sell them or add them to their collections.
So why do I choose this kind of life, frugal, simple, conservative ? It is because I believe that materialism of all kinds is wrong-minded. Frugality is another name for saving money. The money is being invested in our retirement funds. So many today seem to think that a bigger house, more things, indoor pools and the rest will make them happy. It isn't true. Possessions and wealth will never bring true happiness. Happiness comes when I live a meaningful life. Service to others, Love, friendship, kindness, simplicity, lack of desires (a hard thing to achieve!) and creativity.
Although, friends, I would really, really like a bit more space and a second toilet !
So any and all who read this ... think about my words and see if you can include these ideas into your life.
I apologize for all the smiley faces. Just noticed them and I thought I would add them !