Today is Good Friday - why do we call the day that we commemorate the death of our Master and Lord, good? Because without the sacrifice of his body on that cross we would never know how much God loves us - all of us, even those who do not recognise Him or His love.
Peace today, dear friends. Let us never forget that one man out of all of humanity gave his life to rescue the rest of us from alienation, materialism and ignorance. He loved us and still loves us. Jesus did not die on the cross - He lives, still, our good, dear friend and companion, in our hearts if we but welcome Him ... IN. He does not need to 'come again' - he, dear friend that he already is, will always be with us - for this life, for all our lives, until we are with him forever in that place of Light we call Heaven. There is no up or down, no there or here ... there is only one reality - His presence in our lives, in the world, in eternity, forever.
 For us, he did all this. He is our Bridge to the Father of Lights. He is the great bridegroom that desires unity with those souls who desire his love. He is the savior, he is the best example of what a man can become if he has a brave heart and willingness to give everything he is to the cause of human spiritual evolution.  He is our proof that God never abandons one of His own, not even when they are on a cross. The emptiness of death is an illusion. There is only Life. Life in and out of bodies, life as energy, life as matter, but always life.
There is only Law in God's realm - the law of Love. Love and Mercy. All else is man's laws and mean nothing. If you love you will keep the 10 commandments, if you love you will do God's will in all things, if you love you will serve mankind and do your best to be a good person.  That is what Jesus Christ proved to us that day nearly 2000 years ago. Love. Mercy & Sacrifice.
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Leon has bought me a new video card that is very friendly to Ubunto Linux. I am finally playing games and learning how to tweak the card, too, to get the most from it. That is one thing you must do with Ubuntu Linux... always check for compatibility... that means all hardware. We just bought a new printer/fax/copier/scanner (HP J5780) works great with Ubuntu Gutsy and I suggest it for anyone who wants to operate a printer in Linux. Came right up, no fights, no debates. I am going to write a letter to HP and thank them for making decent drivers for Ubuntu.

I am serious about two very different things right now :Learning Programming-Learning Ubuntu Linux operating systems (I see it as one thing - a unified project.) and getting back to writing my novel. I have been struggling with Insomnia for a long time and I am trying to find what combination of herbs and mild drugs work best to get me to sleep when I lay down so I will have a good chunk of time in the very early morning in which to do both projects. It seems to me it is also, somehow, a matter of will - though, that also seems impossible, doesn't it?

There has been a lot of coincidences or serendipity after I chose to return to writing. A laptop computer fell into my lap, almost literally -  a friend gave it back to us, he was using it to work for one of our old employers. Originally it was Leon's computer at the original company (and yes, it is convoluted.)  It is mine now. I will be able to take it into the garden in the summer and write ... Lovely? oh, yes. Not a fast machine but it will be fine as a Typewriter. I already told you about the printer - it is also smaller than our old HP and it gives me space to spread out my note books as I type. Lovely? oh, yes.

And yes, I am still losing weight but rather slower than I was. I need to keep the discipline from lagging or growing stale ... well, we all know its easy to grow distracted and careless - I am about 160 - 161(?) - I've lost nearly 50 lbs if I am doing my math correctly.

I am also working to put my 'back room/library/sewing room/computer room/craft room, storage room in some kind of order. I am considering it a possibility that I will sew clothes for the summer and I need to get my sewing machine out and running, though I am realistic with my expectations it is another reason to have more time to myself in the early morning... that means order or something very close to order... or maybe just orderly chaos? God, I've a lot of paper hiding in weird places... advertisements never opened, appeals for contributions from the Republican Party, Salvation Army, etc... the usual drift wood that comes from living in this decade- so I am working on that this week. I also need to get my recipes in order. (What a project!) Not to mention my file cabinet which is slowly going into something like the twilight zone of disorder.  What about the paperless society that they talked about ..?  I don't remember my parents getting tons of mail, do you remember anything like today's flood of snail mail advertisements?

My Linux/XP adventure.
We reloaded XP yesterday and then reloaded Linux .. found out later we didn't have to reload Linux/Bunny/Ubuntu, after all. We are both learning. Here is the link to that info for anyone working to learn Ubuntu.
I suggest checking just about all questions out on the web and assume nothing when you are working with Ubuntu - there are an endless number of sites giving help, instructions and people having the same problems you are.. it looks like a friendly, helpful community effort to a new Linux user, like me. We call it Bunny, by the way, for short ... so is the mascot a cute little penguin or a bunny? I like the bunny but the penguin is rather cute, too...

 I had the revolving Desk tops and rubber windows weirdness working last incarnation but this incarnation we can't seem to repeat our actions even though I wrote some of them down. It seems we are missing a step or two. I am still looking for Wanda Fish - what menu is she on, I wonder? Where is my Wanda Fish?????????
 We will keep researching the problem with my video card and will write the cure down next time. I didn't lose any of my old files because they were saved on safe hard disks but I lost a lot of the work/effort/changes from the last incarnation - getting things to look and act the way I wanted them will take a day or two. Also, all my settings, are needless to say, gone... I had moved files up and had even got Rhythm Box to work properly with my old Ipod files and now I will need to do that all over again. As far as I can tell, my XP side is just fine the flickering to black and the weird crackling sounds are gone... I will not use it for much more than some old games and several programs like Transparent Language Italian -
a fine program for language learning that has resources for not only Italian but Latin, Spanish, French and God knows what else ! Now, if I would actually work on my Italian I might be able to say more than 'Good day' in it! Owning a language program does not ensure you will actually use it to learn a new language.
Microsoft has announced that it will no longer sell XP - which, is a step on the path to no longer supporting it... though, I am a little confused whether it is June or the end of the year when they do the deed - what they are doing is pressuring the companies that sell computers to no longer XP machines (even though the customers are still asking for  them!)
... so when they do that ( no longer support XP)... well, I will give away or sell all my old XP programs - or find ways to make them work on Linux Ubuntu - or give the programs a little more life by staying off the net on the XP side, entirely.

I will know a lot more by then. We think we have 3 more years before Microsoft cuts us off, entirely. I have already written some about our Microsoft rebellion. I don't think we are the only ones. I felt only anger when Microsoft forced us to call in and get permission to reinstall Windows XP, it was an invasion into our home.. acting like they owned the program I bought from them  - when I buy something, I buy it.. .it is mine for as long as I choose to use it, if I want to reinstall Windows XP next week this time, I will or should be able to ... I compared it to Jo-Anne's fabrics telling me I had to buy new knitting needles in a new wood and could no longer use my old bamboos.

'Like hell, I do' is my instant and unedited response. I don't bow to the gods of MS or to  Bill Gates. There is a strong sense that I will not respect any man or woman just because their egos make them expect my respect.

What learning curb or is that learning curve? I had to reload my Linux Unbuntu system again, last night. Things were not going well - once we fixed one problem another popped up.  Leon is having second thoughts about Big Brother ... oh, I mean Microsoft. I think its chiefly games and Turbo Tax that makes him doubt that we needed Microsoft even in retirement - I think we could manage one microsoft computer - his - and one fully Bunny (Ubuntu) computer - mine - but the future is still a bit blurry, right now, friends..   I've set a new home record though not only for OS reloading but for staying off of EX - 2 days. Take care, everyone who visits this site.. talk more later, I need to do some tweaking ! 

I reloaded my system last night. Ubuntu is a lot faster to reload than XP or even Microsoft '98 and I did it in about 2 hours, most of that time being spent watching an old movie in the living room with Leon while the computer did the hard work. We were having some Issues with both computers and it just became easier to reboot and reload... which, if you ask me is a little like tearing out a knitting or crochet project, and almost as pleasurable - there is irony in this sentence if you are reading it right... Its called frogging, by the way... rip it, rip it, rip it....
Well, now I work on the system most of today and get to dance and jump the way I want it to - like training a dog (a smart person never tries to train a cat!) but it doesn't always bark. I hope I am learning ... I need to read more and use that workbook I bought a bit more. There is a window called 'terminal' that allows you to download and even program that I would like to learn to use.. it reminds me some of the very earliest machines or even dos - it's the real computer - the desktop is just the front door. Oddly, at 56 I am seriously thinking about learning some programming, its never too late to learn, is it?  Leon is no alien to Linux or even Unix so it is not as great a mystery to him, but for me it is all NEW ! He has lead me through some processes at the terminal window but I would like to explore all the free programs that are out there. Last incarnation my browser (Firefox) was very unstable. It would turn gray and lock up - something I had never seen it do when I used it with XP - so far, this incarnation, it seems far more stable. I am not sure what was wrong. I tend to experiment a lot and I may have downloaded or changed something that the Mr. Firefox didn't like.

 It is going to take a long time for me to get used to Ubuntu and even longer to understand it and perhaps a year or two to feel like it is the dog and I am the master, but- heck, I still misspell it now and again, so I wouldn't expect myself to do better than I am doing.
What do I think about it ?
I would put it this way. Microsoft is the Roman Catholic Church - there is a definite Hierarchy, priesthood, holy days and duties to perform to stay right with Microsoft. Stay within her confines and she will get you to computer heaven or nirvana; she is usually a good mama and you don't need to know a lot of computing - or programming- to use her products.  She makes everything easy for you and you always have a button to push or a mouse to move. She is also a jealous church and will call you a heretic or even worse if you don't always do things her way. She will punish you if you try something that jeopardizes her well-being and livelihood. She costs a lot and you must pay your tithe to her god of computing or she will get very angry - may even refuse to give you a new reload code.
Linux - or Ubuntu- is like mystical Gnostic Christianity. You are mostly on your own. You are a stranger in a lot of places because you walk alone.  There are few rules and no theology. No priests, no hierarchy, no tithe, no protecting mama, no assurances of divine award, no catechism. It is a one-to-one relationship with the computer. You can do stupid things, easily, computing as an adventure. Sometimes things go wrong and you don't really know why and have no idea how to fix it.  You can find a lot of advice but you must do the work of find the good advice and rejecting the nonsense.
You must study, read and meditate on what you are doing and trying to achieve what you think is best. You must question everything.   You try new things and if they don't work or 'feel' wrong you drop them and try something else...The buttons aren't always obvious. You have to work hard to keep the relationship going. You don't do what you do because of fear of Mama Microsoft's wrath or to stay right with your friends and fellow users.. you do what you because you just LOVE playing with the processes and details of the system, learning something, exploring and experimenting. There is no certainty of getting to some kind of heaven or nirvana, but you do your best not to worry about the outcome just walking the path with some trust and a lot of willingness to learn something NEW.

I shouldn't complain about the weather but we are in the rainy season and well, what the <blank> Use your imagination what word I imply.

Its raining, It is always raining, it rains for months. No real storms, no  thunder to make you jump, no lightening to keep you anxious, no wind to make you paranoid about the electricity, -no - the time for the big storms will pass by the end of January, just rain, endless, dark, cold, wet RAIN  for months, sometimes well into what everyone else calls summer.

Anyone who says Seattle is a livable city or that the Northwest is a natural heaven on Earth ought to spend a fall/winter/spring sequence, here, AND, OH,  a note about lightening and thunder... when I see a Thunderstorm in Seattle in a movie I always laugh .  They don't happen or are so rare as to be noted in big letters in the news. If we get thunder or lightening its usually just a few rolls and flashes, sometimes Just ONE at the very beginning of a downpour... There is never the contrast/conflict of hot and cold air that cause the great storms of the Middle of the country.

 My knees hurt, my shoulder hurts, heck, I am getting those winter blues moods  from the lack of sunlight that I work so hard to escape. Usually by ignoring the skies and the rain. Its gray, its always gray and its not even the end of Christmastide.. you want rain, come here. You want decent weather,  I suggest you try the Northeast or even the South. A little snow would be a change, at least ! I like snow. Cold and clear afterwards and the stars like are cold diamonds above your head as you walk home,they make you sigh for the beauty of it all. What cold beauty there is in the skies of winter, a beauty you can remember 50 years, later!  Here? I can't tell you how many astronomical events I have missed because the endless clouds cover all. Stars? Comets? meteor showers? what are those?

Now for some other news. We are still working on the Linux/UBuntu operating system on both computers to make it work and act the way we want. My CD & DVD are acting weirdly and I think it has to do with all the work we did loading the OS. Its over my head so Leon has to look into it.

I am going to make it my chief operating system and use Windows XP for the programs I can't transform or find replacements for in the near future. Linux is like taking a huge step back to 1999 in someways but I like it. I like the idea of a free program created by people who just love computers and computing. 

We have been using Open Office for some time, now and have never been disappointed in it. I suggest trying it.  I also use Firefox and Thunderbird, both excellent programs, Firefox being a Browser and Thunderbird being the Email program and both absolutely FREE. This is important.  I want to learn a lot more about Linux - it challenges me and makes me think. Nothing is elaborate, it makes me want to learn how to do things myself. I found a child oriented website that teaches programming. They are promising a Linux lesson set - which I think I will use to teach myself some programming. I also have a desire to learn to make my own Multiply themes - I liked the one I used for Christmas but I tend to like things a bit more subdued & I wouldn't have had the intense colors everywhere... also, I would have had more contrast, more green and even gold - I don't want to distract for the words which is the point of the Blog. As I have aged I have learned that over the top isn't always aesthetically pleasing.  My plan is to make this is a year of study and organizing.

I would like to clean up and use some of my own Christmas pictures on my blog so I need to learn more than the basics of Gimp, another free program we have used for several years. As you see my house isn't a very roomy place. It's always a mess to some degree as any house must be when there is little storage and two rather creative people. It makes my Christmas pictures look like the tree is resting next to a messy table, which it actually is but I would like to edit out some of the mess.
 
Well enough complaining and planning. I Must wash dishes.

And, yes, I am back on my diet, never really got off of it. I will weigh myself in a day or two and see what damage I have done - and will continue to go down the long road towards a reasonable weight.

I've been setting up my Linux operating system all day. It's not that unlike Microsoft in a few ways while being very different in others... a little more bare,  somewhat more spartan, in many respects, but, incredibly user friendly, also, which is something I did not expect. Our plan is to keep XP as a secondary operating system, chiefly for games and use Ubuntu for everything else. I am not sure will all this will lead us as Microsoft pushes for the passing of EX by refusing to update it any further... of course, one way out of that dilemma is to no longer access the Net from EX or only very rarely.. as for game updates.Neither of us is sure this is what we really want to do. It isn't about money. We have the money. Its about Microsoft, which is getting more and more pushy - more and more dogmatic and bossy as the years pass. It is now more or less claiming that we don't really ever BUY one of their operating systems (Windows); the 200 + dollars is more like a rent charge and  we must ask permission to use Windows on our system, even to the point where we can not use it on both family machines but must buy two copies. This is heavy handed, indeed. When I buy something I buy it... if I have 20 computers at home I should be able to put it on all 20 machines. Microsoft doesn't own me or the copy of Windows I bought from them.
I do.

We've been talking philosophy all day...  the differences between the Microsoft model and the Unbuntu (Linux) model - I see it terms of what I know - the role of the Catholic Church in religion, for instance - or any organized religion, for the matter. Some People stay safely in one religion for a whole lifetime.  They go to church, obey the laws, do their best never to question authority etc. If the church says don't eat meat on Friday, they don't, if the church says God considers not going to church a certain day a mortal sin they always go to church on that day - in short, they paint within the lines made by Pope. I lost that  ability or inclination at 17 and it wasn't just teen-age rebellion ---- I went wandering.. searching for God, truth, beauty, wisdom ... I explored many religions and philosophies, made it (my religion or life philosophy ) up as I went along - made some mistakes, went down a lot of dead ends - but searched for the Divine ONE in my life, always - I meditated, read, studied, prayed, allowed my belief system to change and evolve as I, myself, did. I was all and all a lover of God, of the Divine. What I did I did for the shear joy of the adventure of seeking God.

Now, what does this have to do with Microsoft and computers?
Microsoft is the Pope. (I would say Bill Gates but he isn't quite Mr. Microsoft, any more.)  It tells you what to do, usually to get excited every time it presents a new operating system-- buy, buy buy - walk to the counter with 500-1000 dollars worth of new programs, you are being a worthy adherent of the great Microsoft lord.. buy Vista, buy the new word processor (Office), buy other Vista related and Vista compatible programs, including new security software because your old '98 and XP compatibles are just so old and dusty and certainly useless with Vista.. sometimes, even buy a new computer simply because you need the more memory. You obey Microsoft. You send them money and they promise to help you if you get into a jam. They keep you and your machine safe.
You are safe within the boundaries of mother Microsoft. Dinner is served and it always works - well, sort of ... doesn't it?

Now - there is another way - (and this applies to all of life, not only computers.). Ubuntu is made by developers and is free - not only free in the monetary sense of the word but freely open source code. If I was a developer and wanted a new recipe program I could write one for Unbuntu and give it away freely - others could get my program and fix what ever bugs they noticed. They didn't have to ask my permission, either. I don't get paid and I do what I do for the shear joy of creation. I am exploring, learning, making it up as I go along. Computers as a craft - or an obsession, perhaps.

There are some problems with the Ubuntu model of life - most people, myself, included are not developers - we just want things to work. Updating this post, this morning, I can report I can't find a recipe application worthy of the name and  I've only written one or two very simple programs in my entire life so writing a new one, myself isn't very likely. Also, there is a sort of low level communism to it all ... Microsoft is capitalism written large - unbuntu nearly the opposite. I don't disapprove of capitalism as some do. I approve of it until someone gets hurt or the capitalists start mistaking themselves for gods.

But it is also a heresy; going off the beaten, safe road and exploring computers as an lone individual. I would suggest it is a love-affair.

Leon and I have been involved with computers since the stone ax days of the early 1970's. He says its the difference between the two great old magazines of the early computer revolution... Byte and Creative Computing... the divide between the two ways started even then. Byte was a very formal magazine. Just looking at it you could see it took itself very seriously. Leon reminded me of it and said those people went on to work at Microsoft.  Creative Computing was fun, even I could see that and I was pretty ignorant back then. I have an old book of republished creative computing articles. One article was a picture of Mr. Spock done in numbers, dots and dashes. I saw that and I immediately jumped upon the idea that you could embroider the picture if you assigned the proper colors to the symbols. Of course that was done in published cross stitch programs, many years later. There was a lot of play and fun in the early days of computer age. We saw the birth of new age for mankind. That doesn't happen in many lifetimes and I feel privileged to have seen the beginning of the home computer revolution/age.
 I saw a lot of that same kind of  fun and self amusement in unbuntu as I familiarized myself with the operation of the system that past two days. I do not know if we will stick with it but it wouldn't surprise me at all. Leon is a good self starter student. He may very well master Ubuntu if given time.

This is going to be just a note, really - My honey, that lovely man I've been married to for some 32 years has gone wacky & wild and has installed Linux Ubuntu, which I immediately called 'bunny',  on his machine on the CD drive that we bought today. I am somewhere between awe, skepticism, curiosity and complete terror.. I am a very easy going woman...  Want to put a motorcycle motor in my living room while you are cleaning it? (and yes, he actually did that when we lived in the trailer !) no problem. Accidentally tear into the floor in the living room when you are using the saw? Hey, that is what rugs are for...  Live in a house the size of some postage stamps ... no problem. Make tallow here at home (Did I tell you about my tallow making experience a couple of weeks ago?) It was a great experience. Stunk to highest heaven, but I am going to use some of it to make soap, so it was worthwhile to me to get on board with the black powder pistol adventure.

  But stray from the Mother Microsoft? From the safety of her large skirts...
ARE YOU MAD?
 but I am, also, very curious.

 It is an unclassified, new  territory ... you all have noted I don't always do what everyone else does; my favorite movies are not the blockbusters, my favorite books rarely are best sellers, I don't go to church because I can not bear anyone telling me what to think, my religion is Gnostic - and this list is actually the short list... I disobey authority, naturally, in my mind and often in my heart .. only obeying when I must. Love is the only way to tame me and the only authority I do obey with any consistency are the political/legal laws of the USA because I love the constitution & the bill of rights and strive to be a good citizen. ... I am like one of my cats, walking my own path in my own way : a loner who happens to be married. Leon knows me ... insult my intelligence, claim I can't possibly understand something and you have a war on your hands ... (ME, little old housewife ... me ? ohhhhh, I couldn't possibly understand a NEW operating system !  (eye lashes batting in a feminine way, a  slight smile... using a soft, gentle, almost childlike   voice... ) I am very good at mocking the arrogant. I have had to do it many, many times.
If I get cute, I have a suggestion: Be afraid, be very afraid.
I can think of several reasons I would like to get from under the thumb of the Microsoft  monster.. she has gotten too big and forgotten her roots. She seems to think she can impose her will on us, who buy her products, she is getting too big for her panties, her products have more holes than a piece of tatted lace, they are a bunch of liberals who cause our local taxes to go up because they have no compassion for their middle class neighbors.
So... next year, we stray from the havens of operating-system bliss and explore Linux and its environs. Should be interesting... Leon claims this has NOTHING what so ever to do with rebellion or any other less polite term or phrase that might occur to me (something to the effect of 'doing it to the man..' )  this is chiefly born of curiosity and a need to learn something new, a new hobby for him..NOW how can I possibly refuse him, anything, even my beloved computer's hard disk space? With that kind of appeal to the angels of my better nature or to the better angels of my nature... or.... ??? well you get the point. I must yield. Been like this since day one when I was 23 and he was 21.
Next year : Linux Ubuntu.
(That is, if we can figure Linux out! )
I think there must be some small print on our marriage license I never read....