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 Heaven on earth is how summer is - in the seventies and comfortable. Warm enough to make my kneels feel good not so hot that my computer begins to malfunction, can any more be asked for in July ??? OK --- I confess it --- with all the craziness of this area of the country, the horrible endless rains, winter that drags on and on sometimes right into June... summer here as just about perfect for us humans. I went for a long walk looking for a doctor's office - it was not where Google maps said it was, but further down the street, and you guessed it, I didn't look there. I called and apologized profusely, of course -- and oh, by the way, don't ask me to lead anyone out of any forest, its a good way to fall down a rabbit hole.  I am tired, therefore. It was a lovely walk but my guess was it was at least 2 miles, maybe 2.5 miles. Did great, though. Leon's getting summer overtime. Miserable. He is also shopping for a new motorcycle - a BMW R1200RT -- Its best to let him just get obsessed with such things and don't do more than add a few words here or there, marriage is understanding the other person and loving them in all their moods. Its not an ugly piece of machinery but it is no Harley. I like Harleys, their traditional look, their sound ( a throaty manly roar that makes me sigh every time I hear it ! ) I love machines and the pretty machines just about cause me to tear up --- I don't show it to my fellow women because most of them don't love machinery but oh, A Harley- Davidson !!!  He actually wanted to get arid of this lovely Harley... but with a little coxing from yours-truly he agrees we will find room for two motorcycles in our lives. A family one - Mr. Harley and the New BMW . He suggested that I sacrifice my desires and I suggested that I used to do that in my 30s but I am now in my 50's and a lot, lot wiser! LOL  He is swaying back and forth though.. the overhead of a new bike (tags, taxes and insurance) makes for a lot of cash so the BMW obsession may still pass into history without action. I don't mind the idea of getting another bike, just lets keep the jewel that we have, also, dearest one !!! Oh, update - we did some cleaning of the garage after he got home from work. Its amazing what can be found when in one's own garage, no gold or silver, though. This isn't a very good picture for some reason... I'll try to find better....  After all, I have been working for a year to fit into my leathers. It would be cruel to never ride the bike I have been sighing after for over 2 years, would it not ? Oh, speaking of weight - 152 this morning... another 2 lbs are GONE !!!!!!
What more needs to be said - suddenly our summer is really upon us and the day is clear, the sun warm and the temperature is in the mid-70's -- lovely, utterly lovely. I've gone to the grocery store, watered the roses, washed dishes and still washing the clothes -- I'd love to do some sewing and I think I might do some ironing before dinner.. but oh, the wooooeather. It makes me want to find a tree, a knitting or crochet project (how about tatting???) , a book, maybe and declare I am not moving till sun down, thank you so very much !!!
Pocus, my white and gray tabby has learning how to use computers lately ... rub your chin against the mouse and your mistress screams quit.. click the second button with your flicking tail ties up the computer screen so she can't write, flicking the tail ever so lightly on the key board can confuse her so she misspells words and you can even add a letter or two if you flick your tail hard enough... take over half the table with your ample body and your mistress has nothing to say, because, well, cats are always so darn cute, arn't they? Look hurt when she tries to move you and she can't bear to do it - that works every time.
The rose above is somewhere pink and lavender Amethyst .. the true amethyst roses tend to be more blue than pink and are quite lovely -- its not an easy color for roses, for some reason ...while it exists in many other flowers and herbs quite natually, the true purple rose is very, rare, I would guess, still none-existent, except in my imagination, where all things are truly possible !
I most go and do more housework. I would love to do some ironing and sewing, as I said earlier.. maybe I should ask Pocus to finish this blog with a few words of Catty wisdom.
"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world." My comments : What words !!! in one simple document the past is swept away and humanity is reborn on this planet. We are each worthy of our freedoms - we have a right to be FREE. We have a right to rebel if we feel our rights are being taken from us by a government. Revolution is not a sin against the laws of God and man but a natural right that must be honored as a God-given right !
There is no aristocracy of the rich and famous -- no Pope, Cleric or King rules America. Our leaders come and go and they, what ever they think of themselves, are but paid employees.
The government serves us we do not serve the government. We do not bow to the rich and famous as they walk past, we do not speak politely to anyone we do not want to speak politely to ... No named royal blue-bloods pass their names, houses and wealth generation after generation -- ALL of human history is divided into two parts - before July 4, 1776 and after July 4, 1776.
These are the most amazing words ever written anywhere by anyone... freedom as a right - life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness -- think about that - you have a right given by the creator to be happy. The divine rights of kings abolished forever... God given rights that no man dare touch or profane .. we strive everyday for perfection of our human rights, we will never reach perfection but may we Americans strive as long as there is a planet Earth and a human race. We are not a perfect country - but we have these highest of ideas to strive for, what a wonderful adventure is the USA, may the adventure continue for many centuries to come !! God bless the United States of America !
 There is no sunspot activity at this time -- if you all need something to worry about here is my candidate -- sunspot activity plays a very important role in earth's weather . The Little Ice Age (1300 - 1850 ) had a minimum of sunspot activity during the worse of it. While science is still debating the importance of the Maunder minimum to the little ice age I have read statements that it absolutely DID have an effect and that extreme sunspot activity also occurs during hot spells here on earth--- so , I suspect the sun has a great deal to do with Earth's weather, what about you all ? --- so would you all rather freeze then burn ? I'm still debating but I think I would rather do neither. Just because... Leon saw some horror pictures of what happens to people that have motorcycle accidents without protective clothing and he says I am not riding until I get my leathers... The jacket is on hold -- though with this cool summer we are having I may sew it, anyway. He is more than likely right so I yielded to his superior wisdom and insight -- actually, I debated a little further but I did not have anything like a reasonable weapon; saying I Just WANT to ride the bike did not exactly sound like a grown-up thing to say. Its going to rain this weekend... starting tonight... Well, Happy Fourth of July, folks !! I will be doing inside things and absolutely no outside cooking unless NOAA is wrong - Once again! OH -- for those of you who have clear skies ... look towards the west at sundown on the Fourth ... you will see a very spectacular sight - Saturn, Mars (Regulus) and the Moon are pretty much lined up (alignment) as pretty as they can be... that's in Leo (Regulus is Leo's brightest star!) for all you who slept through astronomy class. Not sure what that might imply for all you astrologers but I tend to love sky watching for its own sake. I will take a peek if NOAA proves to be wrong about the weather. (PLEASE, Oh, God let them be wrong!!!!!!) As an American Italian, I thank our founders for my freedom and rights ... Long live the USA, and many blessings on all Americans of all colors and sizes !!!!!!  
 Our summer has finally bloomed. Its lovely here - truly warm and it's deeply wonderful to feel the sun on my skin, once again. I spend all winter sighing for just such a day and wondering why I am doomed to live in the North West for an entire lifetime... though, being married to Leon makes up for some of the dark, gray days I suffer through! I walked early down our little strip mall to a store looking for ink for my fountain pen and came back with only 2 small boxes of Mont Blanc ink cartridges - no bottled ink except in a little kit... do you think I was born too late, I often do lately - this world is too chaotic for me. I'd use quills if I knew where to find them. And don't suggest the backs of fowls, I know that, already - I actually have a recipe in one of my books about how to make your own quill pens - they boiled the quills for hours before using them but I forget what they used in the liquid and I am not sure what boiling really accomplished - perhaps making them last longer as pens? Leon promises me that if I find a Jean jacket to fit me he will take me out on the motorcycle this summer... I found a McCall's pattern -- M 4385 -- its rather complex but I am going to give it a try, so you might not hear from me much beyond moans and curses for the next few days... and yes, I searched the near by stores but no one carries a Jean Jacket in size 16 petite this time of year ! I am not losing weight right now and I don't really know why... it may be time get back down to 500 calories day. Any sane person gets a bit faint around 600 a day, but well, enough said or suggested about my sanity -- especially since I am about to leave this computer and go prepare Mr. McCalls pattern no. M 4385 for pinning !   Oh, this is going to be a very BIG Challenge, I can see that already and I've not even made copies of all the pieces, yet !
 I tend to think a lot, I love writing and tend to comment on everything that is even remotely interesting, but every so often it behooves us -- and me --- to remember my real life -- the one I am living, that is. Weird, weird life interruption : Seriously thinking of trying to sew a jean jacket. Leon says he will take me out on the Harley if I have one... can't find one locally ... This is way beyond my league in sewing expertise. Its like a cave man trying to climb into Apollo 11 and orbiting the moon. WAY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y out of my league. I found a decent butterick pattern --so --- well, life is an adventure. If it turns out great I will post a picture - if it turns out looking like some modern art straight out of downtown Manhattan I promise I will post it will suitable comments and humorous asides. Trying is better than not trying and watching him ride off all summer !!!  Mow grass Mow more grass Weed eat front hill add to compost heap and turn it over Clean under and feed the rose bushes -- water, too Water container garden -- every day start digging up old rose bush cut out pants water compost heap move Rue plants to planter clean last two cat boxes - check and see if you have fresh cat litter!  Iron Leon's shorts  Mostly done sort clothes out & put them away shorten your jeans went out to lunch with honey ! wash dishes make bed before laying in it, this time !! update checking account, please! Call Boeing services, once again.  Throw garbage out before bed. Feed cats -- never gets a star ! little guys want food every day - cammy believes twice a day soft food ! OH -- put the craft work table in order -- utter chaos rules, again !! Please get to table tomorrow !! 
 They are predicting temperatures in the 80's tomorrow. OH !! quiet my rapidly beating heart, I am going to so enjoy myself. No sleeve shirts, dinner on the Patio, a real reason not to work... (It's too hot, honey, I'll do it tomorrow after you leave for work!) Ah ! And, yes, folks -- that is the MOUNTAIN... as in Mt. Rainier. Leon took it on one of his Harley rides down to the mountain. Still cleaning out roses - wait, let me rephrase that - I am weeding and feeding the rose bushes and may actually see a few blooms this year.. and I must mow the back lawn, Leon did his half last night. I went shopping today for a long sleeve blue jean jacket to wear on the Harley -- Leon's been wanting to see me on the back of that bike for a good two years. I don't know if I am going to find one this year.. so I may just have to wait and get down to 120 (pounds) before getting on the Harley. I finished the large pink and maroon rug and will take pictures of it tomorrow -- I finished it nicely with a maroon and green shell pattern - I like it a lot and have to clean the dining room floor and lay it under the table. Well by for now -- no great thoughts just a little news.
Well, I've started planning Christmas 2008. I should have started earlier but I've been distracted and rather neglectful. I am going to go through my beloved yarn stash and see what I have and what is possible ... I am thinking :
SOCKS - lots of socks. I've written several friends whose foot size have been lost over the year due to computer mishaps. I think several size yarns -- a pair of worsted weight for in the house, a sport yarn pair and several fingering weight pairs to fit into most normal shoes. Lots of socks. I may write one or two friends more - but I don't want to get crazy, socks are time consuming and rather difficult for me.
Fingerless Gloves - a pair for each lady friend and even, perhaps for the males.. we have
S. & R. - older couple
N. & S. - a little younger than us
L. & D. - lots, lots younger than us.
and M. - a lady friend who is 70+
B. & D. - family who are both near our age. I haven't asked them about shoe/foot sizes.
I considering the possiblity of at least one skirt, perhaps two --- and have asked for waist and length of favorite skirts with this in mind -- both S. and N. are lovely ladies and would look great in a crocheted skirt.
I've never made sweaters because, God knows, they are very time consuming and fitting is a must --
I've considered making afghans but they are month long projects at their simplest. There are only 6 months till the big day.
I need a break from shawls and hats -- but I am considering, perhaps, some lighter weight hats and scarves and shawls.. more like summer weight. 
I think some tatting -- book marks? a nice fancy doily ? - got one of those done, already.
What about escaping knitting and crochet altogether and sewing some gifts? Hmmmm... I have a lot of projects in mind, including some shopping bags in heavy fabrics. If my bags are successful some of my friends may be getting some, also.
Jewelry -haven't made a necklace in a year or two and my personal selection is getting rather thin and pathetic... so, yep -- necklaces, earrings and bracelets. -- finally, some excitement, people !!!
I've been thinking purses for a while now... I crochet and decorate my own. This is a definite possibility. I've never done cross stitch for a friend because it is so time consuming as to be unrealistic. I don't have a long list of friends and family but I don't have time to do any but the smallest cross stitch project.
I've actually considered giving several of my closest friends a short story and part or all of my novella to read as a Christmas present.. not sure what the response would be. The short story is that little thing about a Star exploring Cat I posted. It is nearing completion and needs a lot of work but could be done well within the 5 month limit. The novella, the Amethyst Rose is doubtful. I still haven't done the research I need to do to complete the story. I blush to think what my friends will say when they don't get nice cozy things for the season.. a story ?? dare I????
So anyone out there doing this kind of planning, yet?? Get to it, folks, Santa's coming in 6 months !!!
Happy summer and a Merry, Merry Christmas to all !
And to all a good night !!
 Well, well well --- so you may be asking... is the sun shining in that sink-hole state called WA? Yes, it is ... 'tis almost blinding me, troglodyte that I am -- the light, the light, MY EYES!!!!! (A little honesty - took that picture a few weeks ago, the lilacs are finished blooming for 2008!) It is lovely --- trying to find an excuse to work outside, I already did some weed-eating and mowing... hmmm - could weed-eat the hill ??? ... I am going to start the heels on my first pair of fingering yarn socks ! Would it not be lovely to knit soaking up some solar radiation? OH, yes, yes. quite lovely! Sorry I haven't been posting anything this week --- everything seems in disarray, that pink rug is almost done - its nearly 5 feet in diameter, now and is is nearly ready for its last row. I've been sewing strips everyday and as fast as I would sew I wound crochet and need more balls of fabric. Why do I feel that I always need 30 hour days? why do I resent sleeping as much as I do? I stayed up last night and knitted for nearly 3 hours without interruption - what a heaven are such hours of pure pleasure! Well, must go and watch my sock making video about knitting heels. I know the procedure but it never hurts to watch the instructions, once again. I got really quite upset --- one of those ridiculous scientific studies about conservatives and religious people -- is it my imagination or is science becoming more and more a political instrument of the far LEFT and liberalism??? No, not my imagination, it is. All we need is another religion (dogma) on this planet. We are caught between the dogmas of Islam and liberalism and both make my head HURT. Oh, well - life has never been easy in any of my lives! Have a lovely weekend. No worries. Enjoy yourself ! 
 The Invasion of the Allied forces on the Normandy coast is 64 years old, today. It was an amazing achievement. I don't think anyone in this generation or in my own has half of courage, fortitude and shear guts of even the humblest private of the 1944 American Army. Thank you to the brave generation - most of them either dead or near dying that fought for America, Asia and Europe, Thank you, men of courage, you did well. Your courage are as ribbons of gold on your soul. I know, if faced with the same choices the young men and women of this time would, for the most part, march in peace parades and leave the fighting to men and women they despised - and, in this era, we would lose Europe, England and most of north Africa and all of Asia to the Axis powers. We are raising a generation that loves itself too much to make sacrifices. Challenged to day we will cave in to those who are both meaner and braver than we are. My husband is watching "The Longest Day" and I am going back to it, now - the invasion has just begun and I missing the best part. Don't forget the brave men and women of my parent's generation who fought for what you hold on to, so very lightly --- your freedom and your right to exist. Try to be grateful, people - the world would have been far different without their sacrifice.
 Well, O.K. - how do you study on your own, without benefit of a teacher, school, curriculum and tests? Embedded in the following will be an outline of how I go about it : Let's say you are me. (Poor kid, your genetic code didn't exactly make you a looker, did it?) You bought a movie today during your walk to Walmart - 300, the spectacular movie about the battle of Thermopylae - well, how historically accurate is this movie, you wonder, as you watch all those brave Greeks fight off the combined forces of the Persian Empire.. did it really happen the way portrayed? When did it happen? What happened before to bring this battle about? What happened afterwards? They gave in the movie the impression that there was an even greater battle on land, afterwards, what was its name, who fought, etc... Where was Sparta, any way? Does it still exist? If not, why? What about Athens - in our time, the capital of Greece - did it exist, and what was it doing in that era? Was that brave king Leonidas an actual historical king? Why were there two kings in Sparta? Was Spartan culture as militaristic as it was portrayed in the movie? What about the stranger parts of the story - the weird animals, the size of the Persian Army, itself? Who was Xerxes - the king of Persia, why was he invading? School throws information out at you whether you want it or not - life does, also - hundreds of bits of information pass our way, everyday ... whether we notice or not is up to us. And the point is not that this information is flying about but that you have the curiosity to notice it is doing so. I have a natural, inbred curiosity - it is at the soul-level for me, a habit so ingrained in my soul I could not stop asking questions if I wanted to, which is why I don't belong to an organized religion. I originally believed all of mankind did - both men and women. As I have gotten older, though, I have had far too many conversations with my fellow human beings that ended with someone asking me something to the effect of 'Who cares?' to continue believing that everyone asks as many questions as I do. Curiosity, I believe, is a potentiality in each human brain/soul/mind... but that it either takes wings and flies or dies in the dark caverns of the mind some night when you are about 10 years old. Mine took flight - did yours? So - where do you look for the answers to satiate your curiosity? (And a curiosity set on 'high' is like physical hunger.) Books? --- fiction? history ? Encyclopedias? The Internet? Young people's books - not children's books - but those written for preteens can be a starting off place. I used to use these more in my youth but less as I grow older. The Time-life books of my youth were in this category. You may find that you don't know as much about the general history of Ancient Greece as you would wish. So you may need to look for a short general history to put the battle and the Greco-persian war into its historical context. PBS home Video's -- The Greeks : the crucible of Civilization is an excellent general introduction but has the draw back that it concentrates only on Athenian history. The Net --- acts as books used to in my youth, I still use hard copy books, sometimes, though, mostly out of habit, you may not - There is coming a generation, heavens, it may already be here --- whose first instinct is not to grab a book but to sit at a computer. I am nearly there, myself, though old habits die slowly when you are nearly 60. - websites, Wikipedia, various on line dictionaries and encyclopedias, informational sites, history, history channel, even blogs & Podcasts, abound. Use them wisely, carefully, check all sources - third hand information is getting a bit thin - and don't take validity for granted on the net. Far too much cutting and pasting happens on the net without people checking their sources.. I do that some, myself. Also, deep down, detailed knowledge and facts are somewhat rare on the Internet. I search it for outline information & consider it at the same level as T.V. Documentaries, Encyclopedias and dictionaries. Encyclopedias & dictionaries, are, perhaps ,second if you use the computer first- get an outline. Here you will find dates, chief historical personages, a small outline of events but few details past these. Documentaries are, also, an excellent starting out place for this kind of research. --- Another new source of information is, of course, the specialized channels on cable T.V. I do not subscribe to Cable T.V. but I do watch videos that originated on these stations.. for this subject I suggest adding D.V.Ds to your search at your local library- There are two excellent DVD documentaries on this subject, alone. History channel - Decisive Battles - Thermopylae Last Stand of the 300 - a History Channel presentation. --- Don't forget 'You Tube' website. Many short pieces of documentaries are posted there. The site is mostly a waste of space but there are some very interesting videos, there, so don't forget it exists. --- Did you know there is another fictionalized version of the same battle called 'The 300 Spartans' made decades, ago? Teaching yourself is a little like being an explorer without a road map. You may find yourself wandering about some, taking turns and twists in the path, getting interested in one aspect above all others. All this is part of the learning process. One major insecurity of being self-taught is this - you really never know HOW much you really know - you have nothing to compare yourself to, certainly not other students. This is a chronic problem. I suggest that as long as you are pleased with your own efforts you are doing fine. Stay away from fiction till you are grounded in facts. Most fiction is meant only to amuse. History texts - dry, often not nearly as good or precise as a good encyclopedia. School text books tend to be poor sources of information, for the most part. Look for books that lie on the border between scholarly texts - the ones meant for the experts - and the dry text books. Time-Life used to publish really good outline style books on all possible subjects but as far as I know, they have fallen by the way side - you are looking,still, for an outline. Answering your primary questions : names, places, events, general history, Why events happened, even what the outcome was ... Wikipedia, Britannica ( It was my favorite source in youth but it demands money for any but the short articles on the web and I no longer own the set I owned in my youth !) and other various Net sites are incredibly useful just for general outlines. Fill your head this way : look for pictures. Images, some books are heavy on images but weak in words. Time-Life books were like that in my youth. Look for well written prose, also. Go to your public library or to the website of your library and browse the chief search words for this subject : :Leonidas, Thermopylae, Sparta, Greco-Persian wars, Ancient Greece,Xerxes. As you do so, you have already begun to learn about the events of that era. You know by now that Athens was not asleep as Greece was invaded- she was under direct attack because of she defeated the Father of Xerxes at the battle of Marathon (Yes, that battle - the one with the famous messenger!) . She had built up her army and navy and fought off the coast of Greece as Leonidas and his personal army of 300 fought on land... So Add words to your search parameters: Athens , Battle of Salamis, Themistocles. You may decide to read several in-depth studies of the Greco-Persian wars, now. The Internet, Encyclopedias, Documentaries are all just the beginning, the salad of your intellectual feast... the main courses are books written by historians (second hand studies) and Books written by the people who actually observed and participated in the events you are studying - these are called primary sources. Did you run into any books or plays mentioned in all your research? Be aware that academia is full of disagreement and out-and-out fighting. You may read books by experts that disagree with each other, profoundly. Try to find out the what the majority believe, at this time - but read on - such disagreements and debates can be very amusing. Well, break out the reading glasses and the cup of hot coffee. It is time to read. Oh - here is something I am just beginning to discover - don't forget the Internet even at this stage... sometimes, really very interesting primary sources are finding their way on the net... I am not saying you will find mention of this subject , there.. .but, well -- Other sources and helps: http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Pagehttp://books.google.com/http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/ (Remember them from H.S. - they can be of some aid when you are studying on your own, also!) http://www.barnesandnoble.com/http://www.amazon.comhttp://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/(Home website of the Dummies guide collection) http://us.penguingroup.com/static/html/cig/index.html (Home website of the Complete Idiot's guide collection.) Another interesting, recently discovered source of information are the blogs and websites devoted to home schooling, in teaching their own children they are giving the rest of us some vital study sources and making a market for books, documentaries, programs, etc. that would not be available, otherwise. Treat yourself to some useful software - Have a notepad software that works with your Operating system.. keep a Paper note book and take notes the old - fashioned way. Treat yourself to a really fine pen (I love fountain pens!) and write everything thing down you want to keep in your records. You may decide this era is very interesting and you want to expand your studies to include the events that followed this battle - up to and including the Age of Alexander the Great. Have you found books you want to own? treat yourself to them. What about the depth of your studies and how much you really memorize? I go as deep into a subject as I want. I get bored and move on but then return later, sometimes, years later... no knowledge is without its' benefit to your mind and your heart. I do not memorize a great deal - no tests - but I always have a general outline of what I know. I did a lot of checking for this entry into my blog, for instance, but I knew all the information, already. Knowing how to do research - where to go, how to collect information and ask questions, etc. is a big part of the learning process. Good luck & have FUN!
 Procrastination - ah, that lovely tendency to put off today what I could do today! The article I posted under links reminded me of my tendency to postpone things as many days, weeks, months and years as possible - and, how I abhor that tendency in myself ! I always have grander ambitions than I have time or discipline. I should study languages - at least, Italian & Latin - I have the books and tapes, but do I ? No, never, enough. I still can't construct a sentence in either language more than "I am Kathy." or Enough! On second thought, skip the "I am Kathy" - and "Enough!" in Italian is "Basta!" Autodidacticism is an unusually long word for a simple concept. Schools should be the beginning, not the end or limits, of your education. I have only a High School education and less than two years of college. Life always seemed to take precedence over every opportunity to further my formal education, I even sent one of older sisters to college while I was working as a saleswoman! My parents brought me into the world when they were both in their 40's - it doesn't take complex math to see that they were retiring just as I was leaving High School, also, their marriage was a stormy affair and they separated several times in their lives, the last being the same year I graduated - I had applied to a college and was accepted but declined at the last moment because I felt responsible for my mother, who was moving down to live with my eldest sister - and my other sister, who had just left the nunnery... What an absolute mess it all was! No surprise, therefore, that I ended up as a saleswoman working two jobs instead of a college student in the fall of 1970. I, therefore, have struggled to educate myself throughout my life. When I did return to school I found the experience both boring and frustrating. It is easy to obey and respect professors at the age of 21 - at the age of 38, it is not so easy; this simple truth, along with my natural tendency to dislike ALL Authority figures made my 2 year visit to college rather a hellish experience. I also realized that I did not have the time or inclination to continue any further and the exhaustion and long hours finally took their toll and I fell ill for nearly six months. Enough, alas, was enough. So I came home, to stay. I did well while I was there, though. But dealing with both kids as much as 17 years younger than myself and professors proved to be my undoing. I like my privacy and my home far too much and longed, suddenly, for the simple life of housewife. So, here I am 56 years old. I am not as educated as I would like. I have struggled to continue, though. Leon and I both do NOT have extensive formal educations... and we are both very capable of learning on our own. He tends towards math, computer science and programming, even hardware assembly. I tend towards history, philosophy, mysticism and crafts of all kinds... A great deal of such study is just discipline, a ready library card and a willingness to be curious about just about everything that is both decent and good. A real abiding hunger for knowledge and wisdom are essential because teaching yourself / learning on your own / autodidacticism is never easy. What amazes me is how the Internet has worked itself into my study patterns and how technology has worked itself into my list of source materials. I don't read as much as I used to - I listen to audio books and podcasts, are two examples of what I mean. I have dictionaries that I hardly ever pick up now, for instance, I have learned that 'cut and paste' is not for children, alone, any more. I studied a little library science while I was going to my local community college and it sharpened my already rather mature research skills. I have learned how to frame a search parameter on Google so I sooner or later get what I really want instead of what I really don't want. So why expand my personal wealth of information and knowledge? Notice the words I just used. WEALTH of information, etc. Why write this blog? Why write poems and short stories I don't plan to publish? Why make rugs instead of buying rugs at Walmart ? Why not just go buy a pair of shorts today instead of cutting out a pair and sewing them up? Why? Face it, life without challenges is a boring, repetitive list of chores, which don't change from one day or one week or one year to another - I found recently such a list - from last year - it would have been the same list of chores if I had written it 10 years ago. I will be making dinners, cleaning cat boxes, taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, etc, etc. till the day I die. Even our entertainment does not change much over the decades. My crafts, my creative writings, my studies - my love of books, yarns and threads, beads, poetry, writing... all of these things - all of these challenges and efforts give meaning to my life, depth & pleasure to my existence - now, you may ask the same question I often ask myself - am I creating any ONE lasting thing that will mark my existence? I don't know. Ask me the day after I have died. I will know THEN. I believe, as I have said many times, in reincarnation. When we go to God at the end our life on earth, I believe He/She asks us several very important questions: What did you learn while you were on earth? Whom and what did you love ? What did you create while you were there? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autodidacticism
 The spring has returned: Spring has returned and bringing new life with the quiet urgency it makes lovers mad with their passions causes flowers to grow tall and lavender to sing songs as its’ blooms scent the garden In a closed rose garden a maiden sits spinning fine purple wool of lordly texture. She listens as voices approach, she loves but One, none other will do as she looks up she smiles. She of noble temperament and gentle birth awaits her Lord the golden horned unicorn. Note : another of my mystical poems.. do not look at the exterior.. look for the inner meaning. In the myth of the 'Hunt for the Great Unicorn' only a pure, gentle maiden can attract the unicorn by her own self for He is drawn to her purity (whether it is of the body or heart or both the myth does not tell us. ) It is Christ, himself, who is the Great Unicorn ! The tapestry above can be either called 'sight' or "My one true desire" or "My One desire."
 Yes, I am ! by our scales about 155 - 554 - not skinny, by any means, but a lot less than I was to begin with ! Lordy, though, tis' a hard, difficult road to walk. I am sewing today so no long blog. I am still working on the rugs and I really must work but I thought I would just mention the weight subject. It is very difficult and challenging to discipline myself month after month --- I am good at self-discipline, no needlewoman, sewer, crocheter, knitter... well, you get the point, can be anything else. Most people say 'Well, I wouldn't have that much patience'. I usually say 'I take it one day at a time and enjoy the process and not think about the hours..' .. I never say what I am thinking - it has nothing to do with patience.. .I am a rather impatient person, actually - it is just discipline - write it large and say it loud... ITS DISCIPLINE, SILLY! I get so impatient with my handwork sometimes I go nuts and do it for 6-10 hours at a stretch ... bad for my hands, at this age! And, yes, that pink/red/beige one is the one I am working on now ... I think it's for the dining room. I did the weed-eating in the front yard, today, while Leon changed the oil in the truck. Now it is raining off and on... oh, I wish for summer, I wish for it so very much... summer... I know the rest of you wish it was cooler but, people, you have no idea how awful the weather is up here in the Northwest USA, this place is awful - not livable... don't listen to the hype, I can't think of a more boring place to live... rain, rain, clouds, clouds, clouds, a little more rain... oh, for a warm, clear day - for an 80 degree day with shorts and tank top ! I Sometimes wonder if I will be trapped up here, forever, never to have a real summer, again... it could happen. We are not rich... ah, well.. Like I always say, at least, we are together ! I will believe in Global warming, people, when it is 90 degrees here in May. Not before. I am wearing 2 shirts right now, the windows are closed and the heat is on and I wore a winter sweater while I doing the weed-eating... ! Does it sound like I am enjoying a summer's day? (OK, get technical, a late spring day? NO --- I am not !
 I posted a short story concerning Giordano Bruno and have often mentioned this fascinating philosopher of the late Renaissance. I thought, today ,I would post considering my schedule, just Four quotes of his I found on the Web. I have read the books mentioned and I am familiar with the context of all the quotes : "It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people." "There is one simple Divinity found in all things, everything has Divinity latent within itself. For she enfolds and imparts herself even unto the smallest beings. Without her presence nothing would have being, because she is the essence of the existence of the first unto the last being." ~The Expulsion of the Triumphant Beast, 1582 "This entire globe, this star, not being subject to death, and dissolution and annihilation being impossible anywhere in Nature, from time to time renews itself by changing and altering all its parts. There is no absolute up or down, as Aristotle taught; no absolute position in space; but the position of a body is relative to that of other bodies. Everywhere there is incessant relative change in position throughout the universe, and the observer is always at the centre of things." ~ On Cause, Principle, and Unity "In space there are countless constellations, suns and planets; we see only the suns because they give light; the planets remain invisible, for they are small and dark. There are also numberless earths circling around their suns, no worse and no less than this globe of ours. For no reasonable mind can assume that heavenly bodies that may be far more magnificent than ours would not bear upon them creatures similar or even superior to those upon our human earth. " ~On the Infinite Universe and Worlds "Circles the sun and seeks whence he hath come;
And wandering lights make ever for their source;
The child of earth returns to earthly home;
From sea to sea again, the waters course;
Divine desire, wherever it may roam,
Soars ever upward, of its native force.
'Tis thus the soul, born of my lady fair,
Turns back to find that goddess past compare."
- Gli Eroici Furori
Disasters are not the hand of God striking down the sinful - neither is it Karma, Sharon Stone. People who think so are stupid, just plain stupid. So, Miss Stone, when Hollywood receives that 7.9 or 8.0 jolt that the scientists have been promising you for the last 20 years will that be God or karma? Note : please watch embedded video is you do not understand why I am addressing Ms. Stone directly ! God, the Father, who is pure love and kindness, is not a punishing God, He is merciful and kind. If you want to see God's tender love look to all the tragic pictures of parents carrying their child from the wreckage of their homes, dead. Look at the USA government just about begging Burma to allow us to help them, also... That is God's hand - weeping at the harm and death in Asia and here in America - world wide, in fact is God's way. People who blame God or Mother Earth are Stupid, simply stupid. People like Stone deserve to go to the 8 th. level of hell saved for the chronically self-righteous, arrogant, smug fools that constantly see the sliver in their neighbor's eye but don't see the plank in their own. If God or karma strikes down anyone in this planet for sin it should be Hollywood types like Ms. Stone and others of her kind who are smug buffoons of the most ridiculous kind. So why is your sinful town still prospering and rich - could it be that God is merciful and loving - a Father who does not punish? Could it be that the earth just lives by the natural laws of geology and has no will except for them, Ms. Stone? Of all the things that drive me nuts, arrogant Hollywood types drive me the most over the edge. I just want to grab them by the lapels and tell them that they are merely brainless actors and that they should shut up and do their craft and leave serious things to serious people! Earthquake, storms, volcanic disasters always strike at the humblest of people, first, and hardest - the humble can not get out of the way, the humble are just working, raising families, doing their duties. I despise the Chinese communist government more than most. I despise communism as an aberration of real philosophy, but neither God nor karma (which is a natural law of the universe and not even God can really change!) misses the mark or strikes at the humble while leaving the great ones to say how-very-sorry- they are- that the earth quake struck... Both God's will and karma are not punishment as such, etc. It does not surprise me that the Buddhists want to help. They know that hatred of your enemies is BAD KARMA - and, that their brothers and sisters, killed by the Chinese government are yet, living, yet, not here on Earth - that kind of goodness is something I can only dream about having in my soul - and, Hollywood types, Ms. Stone, included, actually can't even conceive of existing... that is why she was so confused. Neither the Chinese earthquakes nor the Mt. St. Helens eruption, or Mt. Vesuvius in 79 AD, nor the Katrina hurricane, or the recent storms in the Mid-West nor the awful typhoon in Burma, etc, etc, etc are karma. NOW, what happens afterwards - our inability to really react properly to the hurricane might have been considered karmic because our reactions were directly tied to sowing and harvesting what we did in the past... but, even that, can be debated for a few centuries. Karma is infinitely complex and difficult to understand. We human beings matter not to mother Earth. We are just her children - as much as the trees and the flowers - and, as such, she will dispose of us as she sees fit - she knows no cruelty - only necessity. The laws of nature are such that we must sometimes die in natural disasters - if we live in an earthquake zone, as I do, I know that we could have mild ones (below 5.0) for my entire lifetime - or a really big one could hit and I could die, struck down, lets say, by that bookcase to my right side, right this moment. No Chinese family, as humble as my own in many ways, (and, please note, they don't even get to have a say in the governing as we do, so they can't be blamed for what their government does!) are being punished with an earthquake. They are humble people - the salt of the earth, as Christ would say. They did not kill the monks of Tibet - the government of China, did. People who say that natural disaster are punishment for sin are living in the dark ages of superstition whether they are Christian Popes, Muslim clerics - or, profoundly stupid actors and actresses living lives of sublime luxury in the richest city of North America. They should all be ashamed of themselves - it's a shame hell does not exist, people for you truly would be massively improved by going there for a few centuries !!!!!!
 Note : this is a fragment of a short story... I think I know where I was going with it.. I should change the name of the Cat - Kalen is the name of the one of the main characters in my novel, of all things!!! so here it goes. It's Sci-Fi , folks. And, Yes, someday before I die I am going to write one real honest-to-goodness sci-fi story !!! Oh - this is dedicated to Craxton, the best orange tabby ever to exist... love you, Craxton, you died way too young! **** Kalen, the Cat was a PSI companion animal in the Space corps. He sat on the end of the counter in the kitchen of the explorer ship, Star Tamer, still dozing as cats do when they are not quite awake. His Tech had just commented that she could really use his help and to wake up, immediately, please... "There are" purred the cat "Two things I never do one is use the a nasty cat box, the other is tell my human what to do" "I've noticed about the cat box thing, Kalen and I must say I find it discouraging and of course your faith in me is lovely but your advice at this time would be appreciated." " And what, oh furless one, is the problem?" "Well, we are on this somewhat primitive world, both explorers, You read minds and I am a 4-1 Tech Historian " "That doesn't seem to be a problem – anyway, I have my role you have yours , a totally agreeable situ...." The cat sat half-squinting, looking far too elegant to be anything but a pampered feline. "Kalen, watch it !"she growled with annoyance. "Watch what ?" the cat craned his neck and swiveled his ears. "Quit your feline literalism and listen carefully-- this world is too violent for jokes and too primitive for repartee!" " Sissss ..." hissed the cat looking quite affronted by the human's insolence. "Don't be impolite ,they told us what that really means in tech school, and I was shocked!" " Damn the man who gave cats brains"she added, muttering. " And damn the cat who took them "answered the cat. " Anyway, we already had brains, all that was given was amperage..we had plenty of brains all ready we'd been living with humans as pets, had'd we?" he purred with self satisfaction. "Will you hold your paws for just a moment and listen?" Interrupted the tech "This is developing into an argument, Kalen, please for the sake of our ten years as friends, can't we just talk? These primitives are -1 on the tech scale. we are here to get them moving up the "ladder" - the welfare of the universe and all that, remember? But they keep refusing my overtures. They refused the weapons I offered and later said killing was- primitive! And one said greens were better food when I suggested killing some of the game in this area to add calories to their diet... They ran from fire and laughed at the hammers - they like living in caves they said!". " What am I to do, Kalen? I can't exactly send a message back - " Sorry, these prims refuse to evolve, I tried...." The cat shook his head in exaggerated despair. " Oh, I don't know why not - evolution seems like a bad deal to me - You get thumbs, sore backs and right hands , not to mention guilty consciences. You seem to think every creature in the universe wants to do the same stupid thing! 'Sapient Beings Burden' and all that... I have the best of both worlds - speech and a natural conscience,I like being an animal, I'm comfortable on all fours." He rose to his feet and stretched front legs out in front of him like a yogi saluting the sun. "Well,stop talking, then, for a moment, at least" She begged the cat. " Give a human a paw and he'll take a tail." quipped the cat. " Hell, next time I'm bringing a dog ." She whispered just loud enough for the cat to hear. " If you don't find out why these prims don't want technology ....." "What did you say?" She interrupted. "I said oh, advanced consciousness, that if you don't find out why these primitive humanoids don't want to play human race to your Prometheus your next job is going to be correcting term papers, back-you -know -where, I'll be given to someone WHO can do the job at hand - by Bast's tail, I do hope they will clean my box more often! ” A slow smile bloomed. for the first time in a half an hour Marissa became conscious of the coffee cup in her hand and after a sip threw it down the drain. She looked over her shoulder at the feline, Kalen was cleaning himself looking every inch the orange tabby he actually was, he was actually a lovely creature. Large as all the genetically engineered of his species was, yet, keeping that wonder nonchalant grace that humans have been admiring since Ancient Egypt. Yes, she agreed- it wasn't fear that caused the prims to refuse her 'gifts'; they just did not want to be bothered. Something else -but what could ever replace technology or the fascinating hold it had on human consciousness? She decided to talk to Tarle, the wise woman. The men just grunted and smiled -or ---ran like hell - but a woman, yes, a woman understands words without sounds. " Coming to the camp with me ? " She asked the cat . Naturally, wouldn't miss it, Tarle's a good petter" I'm sorry, Marissa I really have tried to get into their heads - I don't understand their I- forms they're strannn--ge it's as if they knew what I was doing and were sending confused images – like a busy cell phone connection –." Marissa smiled at her feline friend and picked him up and gave him a hug. " I know, Kalen, your the best Reader a Tech ever had. There's depth to everything on this planet.... a feeling I have, I don't have your mental skills but I see and feel it." She frowned but Kalen rubbed his face against hers and purred as so to comfort her; a few moments, later, she put him back on the table went and dressed. The camp was in a clearing at the edge of the forest it was more primitive than any that Marissa had ever seen even in the tech films at Mars U.of T. She could not believe that any sane entity would chose to live like this. She found Tarle scrapping a gourd with a stick."the people " ate little else than the vegetables and fruits they found on the floor of the forest, the entire tribe acted as foragers, not just the women and children.. They wore few clothes, all woven by the women on stand-up looms and survived winter by migrating south of here, about 100 miles.. She found them a fascinating study but was getting discouraged, they broke every rule in the sociology and anthropology books.. intelligence without curiosity? High I.Q.s without meat proteins to feed the higher functions? She Saluted the medicine woman and sat down. They had totally accepted her and just called her 'the stranger' - this planet's fauna was dangerous but the sentients were the nicest and kindest entities any Tech had ever met anywhere in the galaxy. She watched the woman's hands she had watched slower typists on computers back home. There was skill and experience in evidence, a coordination that pointed to a very high level of intelligence . "Dinner?" she asked "Yes" Tarle smiled and nodded " What bothers you, stranger? " I have come to the people with gifts and they refuse them." "We do not ask for gifts and welcome you without them." " But the gifts mean much. Warmth in winter and food without effort, homes of wood,not caves." she answered, motioning to the opening of the woman's dwelling, a wide, well ventilated cave. There were many paintings on the walls that she swore were not ceremonial but decorative. "Caves are free and the men like the move in cool leafless season, it brings them great pleasure to see their old wandering places." “Tarle, why don't I see any other tribes?” she asked. “There are other families. We who are the people tend to stay isolated from other families...not for any reason but that we like it that way...” “Have you ever fought – disagreed with one another?” “No, not in my memory. There is enough food. Sometimes ,we might claim land they do not but then we sit and talk... come to an agreement – we always have enough men and women to carry on to the next generation, though---” “Why don't you want to evolve, Tarle.” “Evolve?” Strange word for a kind stranger. What is 'evolve' ? “Change, explore, grow, mature, use more complex tools and weapons, build your homes, hunt to eat animal meat, join with other tribes to build larger populations... maybe even great cities in the distant future.. and well, dare I say this – the stars – Tarle, don't you ever wonder what they are? ” The woman cleared her throat and then smiled, knowingly. “We tried that sort of thing once, didn't like it much so we chose this life – our elders tell the story, very strange story, 'tis is, also... about great cities of glass... and, yes, even the stars which are like our own beloved Lord Splendor Ras” “You WHAT?” Marrisa interrupted.
This is one of the darkest things I have ever written - a good contrast to the light of the Amethyst Rose of the last three days. I do not mean to suggest that Dear Giordano deserves hell - far from it, he deserves to be honored as one of the best thinkers and futurists who ever lived - a true lover of the Lady Sophia, Wisdom. But when our souls are abused beyond all reason, some of us must go to hell to get to heaven - despair enters and does not leave for centuries. I do believe, that Giordano Bruno, the gnostic philosopher and mystic belongs in heaven, if that place truly exists!
The Exile Beyond the Gate
I seem to stumble and fall and cannot rise. Blackness surrounds me, it is completely black, a lack of light so intense that it has substance and taste. Trying to steady myself, I lay still a moment to gather my strength. The deep black all around me seems as a solid wall though there is no hardness to it, no perception of depth, height or distance exists to reassure my senses and help me orient myself. The blackness, deep and absolute, is all about me. I am completely alone, alone, no sense of otherness to reassure me of my own existence.
At first, I do not even realize how completely alone I am, so intent am I to make sense of my environment, but, as time passes, yes, my isolation reaps a bitter harvest.
Emptiness. Non existence, without light man is but a shadow of thoughts and dreams, I am nothing. Empty, without others to fill me. An empty glass of humanity, I am without all, without light, without being, without name.
Cold. Cold- like what, the grave? A winter's morning, crystal hangs from trees and light diffracts through the branches of ice creating rainbows of the early morning light. The chill fills the soul and stills the heart. The crack of ice and snow underfoot sounds closer to stone than water. This is the agony of winter when life is dead and still and silent, yes, I know winter well.
Fear. There is no fear now, only despair and a need to understand and make sense of nothing. No up or down, nor floor or roof . Certainty dies when there is no point of reference, no beam of light to plummet. Voice came not to me, I cried out but no voice comes. My Hand does not feel resistance when it moves and there is no throat to grasp, no hand to move. My senses seem to work, yet, except, to touch not, no longer can I feel myself . No boundaries, nor self, nor limit, no fleshy being to feel. As Time passes, I have no reference, no star nor planet to judge by, but time, my time passes.
Awareness of self gives birth to time. My mental functions are active. I have attempted to make sense of nonsense, but I perceive that my memory is failing me . I know it is impaired because I can not remember how I came to be in this cold, dark place, so disoriented am I, that the minutes and days are as one and my thoughts do not come before or after one another any longer. My memories after I made the effort, are returning as pictures in my mind.
I was a philosopher, a thinker and teacher of ideas, an adventurer in the realms of thought. A prison, I remember now, dark, dank, it smelled like a ten-day-old dead man and stank of my own excrement and urine. The food! the rats of Rome ate better than I ! Yes, I remember, and why ? Yes, Why? I had written books : philosophy, religion, the sciences and humanities. My books were wrong, I remember. I said that the earth went around the sun and was not the center of all creation, that there was an infinity of stars, planets and universes which exist -Unlimited Infinity and a God that matches His creation and life, itself, breathing, pulsating in , though and around all creation. The universe, itself, is a breathing living entity.
Heresy they called it, heresy! I laugh even now. They are the heretics , they who limit God to Aristotle and their own dead souls, they who torture, destroy and kill in the name of the Prince of Peace! A scandal and corruption are they to all Christendom.
Finally, I try to speak again but cannot hear. Leonardo da Vinci a countryman of mine, has proposed that without air there is no sound for sound is but a wave upon the ocean of air. If that most excellent man was right, than I am either deaf, dumb or in a place where there is no air. Tears well up in my eyes, so much had been taken away from me because I had dared to speak. I have fought a battle for the right to think, to consider and to doubt and I have lost. Never again shall I speak, I swear, never again shall I write, it is better to be silent and still born then to speak to a deaf world. It was foolish for me to risk myself for the sake of truth and speculation. Neither are worth the effort or danger incurred by their expression. I have found that the strong and powerful always prevail and rebellion against them is useless.
I remember now ... a cry ruptures my soul, ripping me asunder. Like a sword, the cry slices through me , severing me...
They tied me to a stake, I remember their cruel hands and the tight ropes and chains. Words came, my very soul, " The soul is eternal, it cannot die." over and over I say it. I saw the executioner throw additional fagots of kindling on the already immense pile of wood at my feet. I looked up at the 'Bella Donna', the fair sky of spring. For nearly eight years of torture, imprisonment and trial I had been cheated of the sweetness of spring and now I was to die in the early spring. It seemed very fitting and proper to me that fate had chosen such an end for me. Looking back down, I saw the executioner light the fagots with a torch. I looked at his face and wondered what manner of man could do such a thing. Rage and anger filled my heart, I would kill my dinner before I cooked it and they could not kill me before roasting me! I wanted desperately to scream but scream I could not for they had pounded a stake into my mouth that I would not blasphemy as I died. They put a cross before me that I might be saved. Their concern for my soul was touching, I thought, but the battle was lost already and my death would come soon enough. I was lost already and would not yield. Turning from it I hung my head a moment and then watched the nearing flames, God had destroyed me and the Church had condemned me. I had lost everything, perhaps, even, my soul, but I would not consent to my own execution by agreeing with them and showing signs of repentance, it was too late for that.
My death was now a matter between my soul and the flames.
The flames began to consume me. I screamed , screamed and struggled. Oh, God, the pain of being burnt alive! Blood flowed from my charring flesh, into lidless eyes the red tide flowed, blinding me. My hair fizzled and burned. I screamed until I died.
I know where ..... Io capisco, I know where ... My surroundings, the endless night, the emptiness and the chill, of - Hell.
Yes, I have awakened in Hell.
I cry out across the centuries to a God, whose heart, if it be not eternally locked by the keys of St. Peter, must now hear my anguished cries of regret and remorse. I was once his loving and loyal servant, can He not forgive me?
"God forgive me, forgive me, I beg! Forgive......."
The prayers of my troubled soul, which has known no rest through all these endless nights , can these prayers of grief and anguish, I wonder, pierce through these walls of empty darkness?
 ++++I told you it was dark. May the soul of Giordano, where ever you are, now, someday, get past the lies told you and may you know union with the Divine Light of Wisdom.
 This is the last chapter I will post for now. Chapter 3 “I hear my Beloved. See how he comes leaping on the mountains, bounding over the hills, My beloved is like a gazelle like a young stag….” “Come then, my love, my lovely one, come my dove, hiding in the clefts of the rock, in the coverts of the cliff, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face beautiful.” What is coming up from the desert like a column of smoke, breathing of myrrh and frankincense and every perfume the merchant knows? See, it is the litter of Solomon. Around it are sixty champions, the flower of the warriors of Israel; All of them skilled swordsmen, Veterans of battle . Each man has his sword at his sword, against the alarms by night. Song of Songs Chapter 2 8-9 Chapter 2 14 Chapter 3 6-8 Throughout Siena now there was the scurry of activity as every one prepared for Lord Damien's arrival. There was the constant echo of hammers on the Campo as nails were driven into wood. There would be a handsome platform before the entrance of the city hall painted in bright colors and garlanded with festoons of flags and many flowers. It was prepared so that everyone might watch his first introduction to the city's leaders. Every family of the merchant and noble classes seemed to have at least one daughter of marriageable age. The homes on his route were preparing for his entrance and garlands and festoons of summer flowers, ribbons and flowing cloth brightened the route. The black and white of the city arms hung from many balconies. Plans were made to place gatherings of young women dressed in their best gowns on the street corners where they might greet Damien and cast flowers and kisses to the young man as he road to the city center. This was hoped to not only to brighten the streets and add charm and beauty to the occasion but to give the hopeful groom his first look at his perspective brides. The streets, themselves, were cleaned of any unsightly offal or garbage and though Siena was always a far cleaner city than most cities of it's era and country this too improved the smells of the large enclosed city. Lastly, Tapestries and banners were hung by the city from every balcony. Every district of the city, competing with the others, demanded and received the right to have representatives present at the welcoming ceremonies. Each district would hang its own banners along the route and at city hall they would be displayed with the black & white so no one district would be recognized before the others, and, so, conflicts would be avoided. The youngest maiden to be invited was a year younger than Lysandra and was a child by look and action. She was noble and as of yet unpromised, unusual for her class. The oldest were women in their mid thirties who for one reason or the other were not yet wed. There was also many youthful widows not yet dowdy, gray nor wrinkled who would dress in the most beautiful finery, though, they would not stand with the young virgins awaiting his first entrance. It had been decided that it would not be seemly to mix the innocents with their more knowledgable sisters. These older widows were often heard to comment that he might appreciate a more experienced woman of beauty and refinement who had a fortune to add to his own and would bring to a marriage expertise in many areas and the wisdom that only the passage of time could give. The city desired and managed to show off its virgin jewels to the best advantage for everyone believed that he would desire a young virgin for a wife. Lysandra had been invited to the festivities, but had to decline due to her father's decision. Her father was actually quite respectable, a member in good standing of the Guilde of Drapers and Fabric Merchants, and, had he been willing to spend a little of his monies the entire family could have attended all the ceremonies and festivities. Her mother quietly continued to prepare the gown and surcoat. Edmondo took notice several times but never commented. There were times when he declined confronting his women folk. The garments would not be fine enough to attend any of the functions but they were presentable enough to enable Lysandra to stand in the crowds without too much embarrassment and cheer with the others as the Prince passed. The night before the promised arrival Pia whispered in her daughter's ear that she might not be able to attend the ball or any of the other festivities but it would not be polite if she did not welcome the Great Lord as the rest of the city was about to do. She then presented her daughter with the finished wardrobe. Lysandra wept for joy for she had not suspected that her mother was secretly doing such a kindness for her mother had hidden her endeavors even from her . She hugged her mother's neck and thanked her many times. The morning of Lord Damien's arrival dawned. It was clear and not at all hot, more a spring day than the first day of summer for it was June twenty first the longest day of sun light. Lysandra dressed and with her mother's help combed her hair but refused the makeup her mother offered to apply, for no reason other than she did not think it would improve her looks and might seem false to her Beloved. Somehow, even now, beyond all reason, she seemed to know the unknowable. She did put a little rouge on her lips, for her mother insisted. Then her mother handed her several small coins to buy a flower or two, or a cooling drink from a vender if she became thirsty. "Be careful and come home safe!" she said at last and Lysandra left. She bought a rose from a street vender if only to carry and admire, never had she been able to be so close to a rose of her very own and she continually placed it under her nose to enjoy it's captivating fragrance. The cry went up that the retinue of the Prince was now visible from the city gates. Horns sounded at the gate at which he would enter. On the winds horns could be heard to answer and then drums could be detected from a far, and bells- sweet sounding bells sounding like those that noblemen hang from their horses' harnesses. The great city's gates opened when two of the Lord's heralds arrived to announce his arrival. They were cheered as they road towards the center of the city, the Campo. A short time later, less than an hour, the main gates opened to welcome the entire retinue. There was a sudden hush as a wave of awareness passed through the crowd and the news spread that the Lord Damien had entered Siena. Lysandra was alone in the crowd not too far from her home. She tried to sneak forward. She was so small that most of the crowd towered over her and she feared he would pass by her but she would be unable to see him. She could not join the group of maidens who were better dressed than she; instead, she stood near by silent, excited, and very frightened. A young man saw her flower, smiled kindly and let her stand in front of him. She was not at the curb of the street but she was closer now than she had ever hoped to be. Cries and cheers were heard from afar and the ever-present drums accompanied by the tinkle of many small bells. Lysandra could barely breathe now she was so excited with expectation. The Drummers were the first to turn the corner they were twelve in number and wore fine garments of gold and white with many fine medallions sewn into designs, hand crafted, shining brilliantly. The main force of the Lord's guard then turned the corner and Lysandra, seeing them, cried with surprise as so many had before her. These were knights as few could imagine. Every one of them was tall and strongly built. They wore helms of gold and silver or perhaps a truly fine steel no courser metal could it be, which glinted in the morning sun when they passed through the streaming beams of sunlight. The mail they wore was finely designed and seemed to shine or to catch light in a most beautiful manner, refracting it, and breaking it in to rainbow colors as it did so, also their plate armor showed reflections of the crowds and scenery like well burnished mirrors as they road by. Each carried a silver and gold shield with a radiant sun and a cross of red within the sun. Their armor was hidden, though, for the most part by surcoats of fine white linen, appliquéd with an emblazoned radiant sun and a cross within the center of the sun. The banners they carried bore the same symbols with words emblazoned above 'Love and Mercy and Sacrifice Divine’ in Latin. The knights wore mantles with hoods of white pulled down because of the summer heat. The horses' bells made a song of their own even in this busy city of cheering crowds. The sound was such that it seemed more beautiful then the bells of the Cathedral. They seemed to Lysandra to be the sweetest sound she had ever heard and she found herself weeping for joy. There were first fifteen pairs of two knights and then there was a break. Six knights followed seeming even more beautiful, with finer gear then the earlier knights. In their midst rode a young man beautiful beyond description. Lysandra could not see him, at first, but heard the cries of awe, surprise and praise from the crowd as he turned the corner. He had on the simple gear of his fellow knights but without a helm. There was no crown either. Instead, a simple jewel, a diamond, if color and glint told all, hung upon his forehead from a gold filigree wound around his dark hair. The Diamond caught the light and made it its’ own. Damien was handsome, beautiful, with the deep olive skin of a man who knew the sun at its heights, glorious beyond simple words, brown of hair and eye, not heavily built or particularly wide of shoulder, but, still, a magnificent man. Neither was he a large man but neither was he effeminate. He wore his manhood as comfortably as he wore his sword. The crowd fell immediately in love with this great Lord as he rode through the streets of their city for his beauty and grace were apparent to anyone with the eyes to see. Lysandra watched as he drew near, her heart crying out in her breast for the love it felt. She waited in stunned silence now unconscious of everything even the rose. Immediately behind Damien to his right, road another man, dressed as a knight wearing a helm and the long mantle of one of his Lord's guard, distinctive only in that he road alone. Damien waved and seemed to be looking to his right and left, smiling as he passed the maidens. They waved and threw roses and garlands of summer flowers on the ground before his horse's hooves. He smiled kindly and nodded in their direction. Lysandra was now only a few feet from him, for he was nearly opposite of where she stood. She could see the color of his eyes and lips, the shading of his hair, this great and lovely Lord whose beauty was greater than the sun and then she remembered her rose. Her heart felt that it would burst for grief's sake. It knew in a moment, despair and hope. She threw the rose before she realized what she was doing. It was all she could have done. She loved so intensely. The rose fell to ground immediately before the charger its deep red now blending with the brown of the dusty road. The charger crushed the rose with its hoof. The scent ascended to greet Damien, he inhaled its fragrance, he hesitated, halted and inhaled again. Yes, it was a Rose of singular beauty, of lovely scent, as no other rose that day had been. It was her Rose, the rose of She who would be his wife. He drew up the reins of his horse and stopped and his surrounding guard also stopped mid stride. Malachai, his most trusted servant came forward when Damien motioned to him. "Malachai, she is here! I have smelled her Rose just as the Father promised I would. " "Lord, we just passed another group of young Ladies..." "No, she was not one of them. I think it must have come from my right just this moment, A red Rose. Hurry, Malachai, she is frightened and may flee." "Aye, Lord." He dismounted and signaled to several other guards. The three entered the crowd not with swords drawn but removing their helms so they would not seem frightening to the crowd. "A young woman has just thrown a rose, a single red rose. Will that Lady please come forward..." He looked at all the finery and all the young ladies a few feet away and thought it might be one of them. People had backed away when they entered the crowd and were now in a semi circle surrounding the knights, Malachai was puzzled at the fear he saw in their eyes, did they not understand who his Lord was? "Whoever you are, please, do not fear, please, the Lord means you no harm, come forward I beg you, for the Lord Damien wishes to meet you." Lysandra was intensely frightened for the impossible was happening and she was unprepared. It had been her hope, yet, beyond all hope that he would… **** A small very petite Girl of not more than fourteen stepped forward from behind a tall man. She looked very frightened and was ready to flee as she walked forward, it was that quiet courage that had made her stand before her rage-filled father, earlier. The crowd parted for her and she stood alone before the great knight. Lysandra was numb with fright and surprise when she spoke. "It was I, sir, who just flung a single red rose before Lord Damien's charger. " There was no lie in her eyes, Malachai smiled and bowed. "Then, fair lady, the Lord Damien requests that you speak with him immediately. She is so young, thought Malachai, as he offered the young woman his arm, certainly too young to wed and bed. They walked to where Damien was now standing, beside his great charger. He had dismounted and waited . His guard of six trusted henchmen also had dismounted and were waiting. Lysandra stood before Damien. He looked down into her eyes and knew her immediately. His eyes spoke words to her heart of a love to match her own, no, greater. He took her hand and kissed it. "It is you, beloved! " he cried with delight. "My Father told me of you!" There was intense joy in this cry as if he had found the most beautiful jewel ever born of the earth. "Lord Damien?" He knelt before her. What is your name, fair Maiden? "My name is Lysandra.”She answered, bravely. "Lady Lysandra, I am Lord Damien the son of the Great King of the North, I would ask you to marry me, if you would, for I love you dearly. Her left hand touched her chest as if in surprise but her woman's heart cried out affirmatively with joy. "Yes, of course, Lord Damien, for I know you came for me, if my parents will allow me, I will marry you, gladly, for I love you with all my heart and soul!" " Rise, beloved friend!" she added placing her hand gently on his shoulder it was as if she was giving him accolade, surprising even herself with her familiarity. "Lady Lysandra, then it is settled! He rose, took her hand and led her to a lovely mare that had been lead forward for her by Malachai. He picked her up and she sat on the sidesaddle and grasped the reins. She had never ridden such a fine horse, in fact she had only ridden a horse once in her previous life. Lord Damien then turned to the crowd. "Is there anyone here who knows this maiden's parents?" A man answered, "I do, Lord." "Come forward, then." Damien requested. She recognized her uncle Ralpho . " Go, Sir, and tell them of my proposal and request of their presence in the city hall within the hour.” "Ralpho bowed "Aye, Lord, within the hour." Ralpho shook his head and looked in Lysandra's direction with an amazement and disbelief that was obvious. His little niece was such that no one had ever thought she would amount to very much, but no one could have foreseen this turn of events. News spread quickly throughout the city that Damien had chosen his bride as he had ridden through the streets. Already many tales were spun exactly how he had managed such a feat, some of them nearly true. Many individuals followed the retinue as it made its way to the great Campo. Damien had not brought any but his guards with him into the city and the retinue was actually smaller then expected. Many servants, carriages and horses had been left some distance away awaiting their Lord's desire, these would come later. Many dreams both of romantic and financial gain were cast down by this turn of events but truly no hearts had been broken. None but the Draper's daughter had felt the stirrings of love within upon seeing the Lord Damien. The father of many a maiden was disappointed but only because many had hoped that such a liaison would be the making of their financial and political security. To have a daughter married to such a great Lord would mean position and wealth, the respect of all and the opportunit |
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